Important for Future Reference

Please remember this post for future reference.

It was a moment where I teetered on, Maybe I should, and Maybe I shouldn't. I settled on, well, I'm going to hit send because Maybe I should. The email I wrote included, "I don't want to overstep my bounds...". After my friend's private post, I responded with a private message, suggesting the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation. I had read about the foundation over at Bring the Rain.

From the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep website: Offering gentle and beautiful photography services in a compassionate and sensitive manner is the heart of this organization. Professional photographers are available nationwide, absolutely free to these families.

Mama posted today. She received my email before she left the hospital yesterday, late afternoon. She contacted a photographer, and he rearranged his schedule to meet the parents, the two boys, and baby girl at the hospital last night. They had a precious photography session of their family of five. Baby girl passed away this morning, as mama said, "[we] stayed with her the whole night and until she slipped away to be with Jesus." Maybe I should. I am glad I did.

Two Open Houses Booted Us Out

Our family spent lazy summer days on the North Shore during two of our open houses. The North Shore is only a short drive, and is my favorite side of the island. All sides of the island look completely different. It's the "up in the country" side. The largest town is little Historic Hale'iwa, (pronounced Ha-Lee Ee-vah) population just over 2,000.

Our first stop was Flavor Mania, the exotic gourmet ice cream palace. We fell in love with this place several years before we ever lived here. Every time we came to Hawaii we stopped here for ice cream. All of the ice cream is homemade in the store with wild and crazy tropical flavors. I had the Chocolate Macadamia Nut, Son1 had the blue with marshmallows, (a vanilla flavor of some sort) and Hubby had Pineapple Cheesecake. Son2 had them all.

The long time owner was diagnosed with cancer, recently. He was forced to sell Flavor Mania, but two of the original signs remain. It may still be called Flavor Mania. I am not sure on that one. The name on the door has changed, though.

It was almost time for the end of the open house, but we stopped to kill time at W-Mart. Hubby picked up a few items, and was nearing the check out stand, when Son1 reminded me we hadn't visited the fish. Every time we go to W-Mart I take my kids to see the fish. They expect it, they love it, and it's cheap entertainment.
Our second open house we headed back to Hale'iwa for the annual Hale'iwa Arts Festival. It is held every July in Hale'iwa Beach Park. Over one hundred artists display their fine arts and crafts from Oahu and neighboring islands. Visual performers present dances, music, and storytelling. On our way into the park we bought mangoes from a local farmer, off the back of his truck. We headed to the food stands for some local style eats before checking out the art. Son1 found the keiki mural and didn't hesitate. Right behind the keiki mural he spotted the face painting station. He insisted he wanted his entire face painted like Spiderman. Noooo. I thought of possible clogged pores and sweat off paint all over his hands and down the front of his shirt. Plus, I didn't think he could sit still that long. So he settled for a spider web.We rounded the booths, admiring all of the artists' work. Nothing screamed BUY ME, even though we were open to new art for our home. The kids were restless. We said goodbye to Hale'iwa and hello to the beach.

We went to our favorite little beach, the one we frequent on busy North Shore days. It's the very place where this blog began.

Hubby and the kids got right in. I sat rigidly on our straw mat next to our two phones. That was so unlike me. I don't go to the beach with my suit on to sit. It was about time for the realtor to call. Minutes went by. No phone call. Her policy is to call after each open house. Finally Hubby motioned me toward the water, and told me to relax and forget about the open house, to pretend we were on vacation, and enjoy the day with the kids. I was positive he heard that somewhere from someone before. Uh hem! Impulsively, I pulled off my coverup and jumped in the water. Once I was completely wet, I put our home sale out of mind.

We all watched the surfer on the horizon for awhile. He was stand up paddle surfing. (There is a blog post coming, explaining more about the sport.) We watched and explained to the kids about this type of surfing. You can just barely see him in the horizon, below.

A few moment's later, Son2 threw his body over his brother's boogie board.

He propped himself up on all fours in an instant.

And I can't believe I caught this picture! He sprang up, cackling, because he had accomplished what he set out to do, alone. Hubby and I were stunned and impressed! My 16 month old won't walk without holding a single adult finger, but he surfs, instead!
About this time, some children were playing next to our family. The kids were elementary school age, a few years older than Son1. They raced sprints into the ocean over and over. Son1 insisted on playing, too. Graciously they agreed. They showed Son1 some aloha, which is a way of life here. (Playing with children you just meet is really common. I will miss living aloha more than anything when we leave the island.) They even let him win a couple of heats, on purpose. Hubby jumped in as the race judge. Son2 and I found our spots on the straw mat, and observed. A tourist family sitting nearby asked if all of the six children racing were mine. I laughed pretty hard. I still can't decide if I thought it was funnier that I could have that many children so close in age, or if I found it amusing that all folks with sunkissed tans look related to mainlanders. The other kids looked nothing like my family. I assured her only two boys were mine.

Dinner time rolled around. We packed up our family and thanked the children for playing with Son1. Time to go home, to my immaculate open house home.

Leaning on Faith

Words cannot express how I am feeling. Shock and sadness just don't seem to be enough. A friend moved from Hawaii for her husband to start grad school at MIT. She has two little boys, the same ages as my own. They weren't planning on a third, but sure enough, she left Hawaii pregnant. She did not find out what she was having initially, hoping for a baby girl. When she arrived in Boston, her new doctors suggested an ultrasound, just to peek and check out baby's health. About four weeks ago, she found out she was carrying a little princess. She also knew the baby's health was questionable. She was born prematurely at 30 weeks, just 2 weeks ago. Things were shaky, but optimistic. Today baby girl had an EEG and an MRI done, only to find she will probably not make it through the week.

In my studies, this verse struck me just last week:

"The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy." -Proverbs 14:10

I have no idea what JOY she knew these last months, pregnant, expecting a baby girl. I didn't know her heart's expectations. I cannot imagine her grief. As much as I can try, there is One who knows her grief so much more than any one else.

A cross reference to this verse is:

"She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly." -1 Sam 1:10

Hannah was devestated over her infertility, yet she went to the only One that knew and understood her heart.

While I am consumed with the first day back to preschool and selling our home, my heart is broken for my friend. I am praying for her as I am busying about my own life, knowing that she is faced with planning a celebration service for her baby girl this week. I pray that she leans on the One that knows her grief because He first knew her JOY.

Out of the House and Into the Curb

Keeping a clean house made us restless. I stuck around the house to clean and clean. And while I was cleaning, the boys entertained themselves. I relegated them to one basket of toys, but those toys grew stale. The boys instead created their own entertainment. You know what I mean. Things that weren't toys became toys. Once Son1 found an expensive stashed pool cue stick and rode it like a knight on his horse, it was time to leave our four walls. On a whim I decided to take the kids to the Waikiki Aquarium. I called Jesse and she and her son agreed to meet us there.


We had never been to the Waikiki Aquarium. It wasn't exactly on my Places To Go list. Too many reviews stated it was small and limited. The reviews didn't entice me. Then Kristen wrote this post and sparked my curiosity. I read a little beforehand. It is the third oldest aquarium in the United States, and part of the University of Hawaii.

We left the house at 1130am. I made two stops with the kids before the aquarium. An hour and a half later, I cheered as the aquarium came into view. We nabbed one of the few free parking spots available in front. But first I orchestrated some ugliness. POP shake rattle, and hiss. The car rapidly sank on the passenger side. I wasn't even going ten miles an hour when it happened. No, no, no. I jumped out and gaped at my tire. A one inch piece of rubber curled back into a jagged black tear on the side wall. I called Hubby and he explained how I clearly had punched the tire. The tire was not defective. He had a crazy day at his office and he was ohhh less than thrilled to change my tire. It was one of those days he really couldn't leave. Well, maybe Jesse had Triple A because we didn't. For three years Hubby was right. Why would we need road side assistance on an island 44 miles by 30 miles? But today I could have answered that question.

Sure enough Jesse rescued the Farmer family with road side assistance. We had twenty minutes before help was on the way. We paid our admission and hit the exhibits.

It was no surprise my eldest was enthralled. But I was pleasantly amazed how my 15 month old screeched and pointed at the exhibits, waving wildly, expressing all he saw. He deservedly abandoned his stroller and stood at the exhibits. I loved that the frames of the exhibits were carpeted for standing. At least I thought standing was ok! He peeked in at the sea grass beds and gawked at the shrimp and gobies.

Jesse pointed out these giant clams. I thought they were fakes. I still can't figure why that crossed my mind. We stood and watched the 120 pound clams open and close.

Jesse helped Son1 use a magnifying glass to spot sea horses and other tiny fish in the tanks. He wanted to share the magnifying glass with her 9 month old, too. Little Caleb was mesmerized, just like my own kids.
Jesse's cell rang, and road side assistance had arrived. We exited our underwater utopia and faced the reality of my carelessness. In just a few minutes my car was was jacked up, the flat tire was removed, and my spare was installed, all with some kind words of aloha. I thanked both Mr. Roadside and Jesse. We reentered the aquarium for a little more time.

Unicorn Nose Fish

Bearded Armorfish

Moon Jelly

The Edge of the Reef is an outdoor exhibit facing Waikiki Beach. It was a lush backdrop for the outdoor tide pool. The tide pool contained several different habitats found along a Hawaiian shoreline. Son1 participated in the hermit crab demonstration. He expectantly waited for the itty bitty crabs to pop out of their shells and crawl into his palm. He dropped them back into the pool rather quickly. The volunteer was patient to show him over and over.
The three boys loved to watch the Hawaiian monk seal. These seals are endangered, and found only in Hawaii. We watched from below the tank and from above the deck. The seal swam past several times. Son1 carefully observed how the monk seal held his breath when he dove.

We entered the aquarium one final time. Son1 was fascinated by the shark exhibit, and ogled intently for a few more moments before it was time to go.

Waiting on a Topless Lemon

We need to sell more than just our house before we move. We have three vehicles, and Hubby's work pays to ship just one. One Saturday, we dropped off the convertible at the Hickam Air Force Base lemon lot. The lemon lot is a large parking lot where anyone with base privileges resells their car, RV, motorcycle or boat. The cars aren't lemons, but "lemon lot" is the common nickname for these resale lots on military bases. The military community is trusting and respectful, so for the most part, people feel comfortable buying and selling off the lemon lots.

Hubby paid $16 for two weeks to the lot manager in the arts and crafts store (strange location, I know), and posted his sign in the car window. Our car was parked behind this row.

We live a good 15 to 20 minutes from Hickam. That may not sound like much, but once you live on the island, you have an island perspective on time. That is not close. We stalled a bit in the parking lot, just in case someone liked our car and called to drive it. Sure enough, we spotted a married couple. She kept peeking in the car window, but her husband had his eye on other cars. They moved from car to car. He looked at sedans, and she looked at every convertible on the lot. Now our car was priced aggressively, and only had 11,000 miles on it. We knew she wasn't going to find a better deal. Round and round they went, for minutes and minutes. Hubby and I played it cool, trying to be less than obvious. You know how we did that? We chased her around the parking lot in my van cruised around pretending we were looking for a car...so sly of us. Every time she headed toward our car we cheered and howled. When she walked away we booed. This went on for several minutes. We almost left twice, but twice she sauntered toward our car, out of the watchful eye of her husband. By now I knew this was going to end up a blog post, so I made Hubby take her picture. "Pose, so she thinks I am taking a picture of you," he said. I did, but I cropped myself out.
We considered staying until the couple left the lot. The kids were wailing, though, and Son1 was pleading for the park. They did not appreciate good entertainment! Just a couple of blocks from the lemon lot is a park structure shaped like a wooden castle. If she called for the car we would be close. As we exited the lot, the couple drove off, too. At least we knew she wouldn't call. Off to the park!

Guess what you can find only at parks on post? SWINGS!!! You cannot find them at public parks on our island! This one park has toddler swings, regular swings, and a tire swing!

Hubby watched Son2 while Son1 and I BOTH played on the swings! The sun was still high in the sky, but the minutes were ticking. Not one person called on the car so far. Just in case, we figured one more nearby place to stop.

Do you see me smiling on the couch back there? I know what the future holds for this stylist. Son1 detests haircuts. This little trick worked before the flowbee broke. (A flowbee attaches to a vacuum.) He can't stand the itchiness of sheared hair. Hubby helped to hold him still, he watched a TV show, and had a sucker shoved in his mouth.
Finally, the stylist finished, and nervously agreed to cut Son2's hair minutes after closing. I am sure she feared a meltdown. He's already had a handful of haircuts to date, though, and usually grabs for the scissors. This night he was so entertained by the spinning airplane wheel he was completely unimpressed with the scissors.

He looked so cute and so well behaved during his hair cut. But I couldn't imagine styling his hair like this every day. I am so Wash 'N Wear with the boys. I had her fix it.

The next day it looked like this.

We left the lemon lot vicinity with no calls. But guess what? We eventually got a buyer! One less worry before our move!

Can't Get Enough of Craigslist

Hubby sold a number of things on Craigslist amidst rushing to make our house presentable for market listing. It was too tempting not to check for other deals at the same time, though. And you know Hubby loves him a deal. In the hour and a half hustle before our first open house, he dashed to Home Depot to replace our cracked doorbell. Well, this tandem bike happened to be for sale down the road. He bought the tandem with just minutes to spare. He stashed the tandem in our garage until later that evening.
After the open house, and some dinner, Hubby installed the tandem around the seat of his mountain bike. The little handle bars needed adjustment, too. Finally, the bike was completely adjusted, and it was time to mount. But Son1 grew leery. "No, first Mommy is gonna ride it, and then I am next," he declared. And they both looked at me with expectancy. Now how was I going to say no? I straddled the tandem and perched myself on the little seat. Hubby sized me up and down. "You know, you fit pretty well on that seat. I bet I could lift the seat all the way and you and I could go riding together." Or not. I wasn't a huge fan of this contraption. We soared up and down the cul-de-sac for what a preschooler took as a victory lap. He cheered just like a member of a pit crew. We stopped in front of our house, and now it was their turn.

Watching the two of them ride several rounds made me grow the slightest affinity for the tandem. Hubby could steer and pedal without Son1. Hubby also steered and coasted while Son1 pedaled. Hubby pointed out the most important value to the tandem. Son1 learned a sense of balance without training wheels.

This is just the beginning of something else, though. It's the beginning of father-son stuff, stuff without Mommy. I stood there, smiling, watching my eldest in complete bliss. My heart and my head recognized the moment for what it was, what my husband had dreamed about for years, and what my little boy started to discover. I thought this day would come, and I would react differently. I imagined a sadness on my part. But it just wasn't there tonight.

Hit the Ground Running

We returned from California to Hawaii, and hit the ground running. The realtor arrived less than 24 hours later. We chose the hoity toity agency that insists their homes meet certain criteria. She helped us move our furniture, stage our home, and make a list of what needed to be done in the next 48 hours before the broker open house preview.

We got crazy. We sold things left and right on craigslist. We donated stuff. Then, we moved things into the garage. My kids were limited to one laundry basket of toys that could be plucked up and put into the garage at a moment's notice. I pulled out fancy shmancy linens that my kids haven't touched or ever soiled. The high chair was stashed, the trash cans disappeared, and the floors, walls, and doors were scrubbed. The mailbox's wooden pillar was repainted. We hired three people off craigslist to pull weeds and tidy our yard. They were done in an hour. But that was three hours of work time we didn't have.

Hubby power washed our vinyl fences, our brick wall, our sidewalks, and our futura stone lanais.
We stripped everything from the front of the fridge, we scrubbed the cabinet faces, sink, appliances, and chairs. The floors were swept, mopped, and swiffered. Almost everything came off the top of the cabinets, except for a few decorative pieces. Hubby used a razor and three cleaning products on our granite.
The rugs were rotated. The rug that was in the dining room was moved to the living room. All of the books were moved from the floor around the computer, and furniture was shifted.
The handrails and window ledges were unsoiled. The air vents were dusted, and Hubby shampooed the bedroom carpets. We moved 1/3 of the books off the bookshelves so they looked uncluttered. We bleached the bathrooms, and sprayed tons of air freshener everywhere.
Furniture was moved over and over until the realtor was happy. For the broker preview and our one open house so far we blasted the air conditioning at a ridiculous 63 degrees. My house smelled so beautiful. Sniff sniff! I loved the way the ten cleaning products blowing through my house melded so well!

Our backyard was stripped of anything in primary colors. (Read: all things children.) The slide structure was given to the stranger who bought the weight bench. His little girl was in his truck. Wouldn't she like a slide structure? The wagon, the toys, and children's tables were all moved to the garage. See the two sliding glass doors? One is in the corner and the the other is on the right. We can only open one because the beige couch blocks one slider.

So now the hardest work is done, and we wait. House for sale, anyone?

The Best Last Los Angeles Hours

I loved that it ended like this. On our last morning in California, Hubby suggested we drive to Santa Monica and rent a four seater bike (the kind with 2 long bench seats, one behind the other, and the striped red and white canopy over top), and ride from Santa Monica to Venice Beach and back. We used to roller blade that stretch all of the time. Now with children, we needed more wheels to make the trip. We exited Wilshire Boulevard from the 405, crossed over Ocean Boulevard, down to Pacific Coast Highway. We sat gridlocked in a traffic jam, and quickly realized there wasn't enough time to pedal to Venice Beach and back before our flight. Hubby made a few turns, and headed east on Sunset Boulevard. We needed a Plan B. I called my sis, who was following in the car behind us, and she suggested a great plan. Didn't I want to show my kids the UCLA campus? We traveled a few more miles down Sunset Boulevard past Brentwood, and into Bel Air. The mansions were what they have always been, unreal. We found parking in the North Village of Westwood, pulled out the stroller, and started walking toward Westwood Plaza, on campus.
These buildings never cease to impress me. They were under renovation and closed when I started at UCLA. They opened midway through my undergraduate years. They have been in countless movies. If you have ever seen a movie with a college scene, it was probably filmed here. The Nutty Professor (I and II), American Pie 2, Legally Blonde, Old School, How High, Minority Report, and Van Wilder were all filmed here. You might also recognize scenes from Alias, 24, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and House, to name just a few. These are the main buildings in the quad.

Royce Hall: This is where my gradutation was held.

Arches at Royce Hall

Powell Library: I used to "study" here a lot before I met Hubby. Then I quit boy watching! After our classes he would meet me outside at the right corner. Most of his classes were at Moore Hall, behind Powell.Moore Hall: Almost all of Hubby's grad classes were here. I took at least a third of my classes here.

Our family was in dire need of a restroom. We had been in the car a long time, and just walked up Bruin Walk. We jumped in an elevator at Kerckhoff Hall. My sister said, "HEY, let's take a picture!!! It's a UCLA elevator. No one will ever know it's not the exact one you met in!" But I know. FYI...Hubby and I met in an elevator in 1996. I was starting my junior year and he was starting his PhD program. I had just returned from a UCLA summer study in Italy. I had sworn off all boys, claiming Jesus was my only boyfriend. That lasted less than 10 days into the first quarter of school when I met Hubby. (UCLA is on the quarter system, not semester.)

Kerckhoff Hall: This is where the gorgeous coffee house is located, with stained glass, and a Baskin Robbins ice cream shop inside. I spent a lot of time here when I was involved in student government. The offices are all upstairs.

I tried explaining to Son1 that we were at Mommy, Daddy, and Aunt Marcelle's old school. He thought I was nuts. "No, these are all castles!!" I laughed. I thought that, too when I was a student. The architecture is such a departure from anything Southern California.

Bruin Walk is the main path that bisects the campus.

The three alums, and hopefully some future Bruins!

The Bruin Bear sits in the middle of Westwood Plaza, in front of the Wooden Center, and just past Pauley Pavillion. When I was a freshman, my sister came up for Little Siblings Weekend. She is 11 months younger than me and is a whole six inches taller. Some little sibling! That's the weekend I got this idea we should jump on the bear and take a picture. I have that photo stashed somewhere. Why not try again? We tried to hoist Son1 up there, but having babies has aged us. And that bear is pretty slick. We couldn't get him up there! So we settled for a photo in front instead.

Our last stop was Ackerman Student Union, hoping to buy some souveniers. I thought I lost Son1 in this busy and huge place. I hit the frantic panic button and then he popped out from behind some Hawaiian shirts. I should have known.... We left the campus and walked down Westwood Plaza. We had big food plans in mind. We passed my very last campus job. I worked for the assistant director of the neuropsychiatric hospital, managing data for his grants.Our food plans went a little backward. We started with dessert at our favorite place, Diddy Riese. The line, as usual, was out the door. Some nice people moved so I could take this picture of the family. Back in the day, cookies were 25 cents. Now they are up to 35 cents. Today an ice scream sandwich is a whole $1.50. Hello? This is Westwood! See why the line is out the door? You choose from 10 varieties of cookies, and then choose 1 of 12 different Dreyer's ice cream flavors for them to heap in between, like a small softball. They they round down the ice cream across one cookie. They are amazing! Over the years anytime Hubby traveled to Los Angeles he always brought me back Diddy Riese cookies! They are soo good.
Son2 bit his sandwich right out of my hand as soon as we bought it. We knew he needed his own. I ordered double chocolate cookies with nuts and cookie dough ice cream filling. Son2 kept chomping, so we shared mine, in addition to his. Forget South Beach! I could behave at our next stop!

We walked across Broxton Avenue, and through a back alley, and took the short cut to In N Out. We devoured our In N Out like the first time this trip, and all of the other times over the last several days. There was no better end to our trip.

Son2 and my sister bonded like two birds of a feather. She entertained him the best, spoke his screeches the best, and responded to his giggles.

All good things must come to an end, though. With three hours until flight time, Hubby ran back up Gayley Avenue, found our car, and picked us up in the back alley of In N Out. We all jumped in, and dropped my sister back at her car. On the short drive, Son2 commanded her attention.There was the smallest sense of sadness, and a sense of longing to stay. From the back row came cries from Son1. "Please don't take me back to Hawaii. I don't want to go. I want to stay in California!" But for now, California was not home.