Twas the night before my Induction...

This is the very last night I will be pregnant. And I am emotional for so many reasons. Seriously, I just stopped to wipe my eyes because the tears just spilled.

There are the medical reasons I am emotional. I am nervous about being induced. I was induced with my first child. He was born on his due date. And here I am again. With my second baby my membranes were stripped. He was about a week early. This is the longest I have ever been pregnant. I am five days overdue.

I am notorious for being picky about doctors. My OB is amongst the best. She has the pedigree to prove it. And I am delivering at the most "shee shee fancy" hospital in the county. I was born there, you know. But none of that brings me comfort.

I have wanted this third child for a long time, probably since I knew I was marrying my best friend. He was not so sure. But I just always hoped we could agree on three kids. Here I sit, with a completely healthy, whole, beautiful baby that I will soon meet, Lord willing, in a few hours. I am beside myself that God has blessed me a third time.

I wanted three children more than I wanted a girl. Shame on complete strangers that do not understand, but feel liberties in making faces when I say I am having a third beautiful boy.

THREE.

In a few hours the third baby will be here. I will hold him. His daddy will hold him. I will be more emotional. I just know it.

I knew this day was coming. And maybe I am just a little nervous that I will miss the early days of Son3's life, because it will all be a blur. I hope not. I want to feel every single moment of a newborn baby again.

I have had those same feelings about savoring the moments with my five year old, my two year old, and my husband. I have poured as much as I could into my family of four, my two sons, and my husband. I love them so much. I have not wanted 2009 to be "the year we moved to San Diego and we were busy getting adjusted and we just did not do anything but that." Nope. I did not want the days to turn into months, and then for us all to wonder how we got a year older. This pregnancy has allowed me to slow down, to appreciate every time we heard the heart beat on the doppler, and saw the baby on the ultrasound monitor. I have appreciated the minutes, the days, and the weeks. When I said "no" to anything else, I was saying yes to them. We spent long days in our new back yard this summer, laughed, hugged, and played for hours. I packed the kids up, spun them around town, and sang silly CDs in the car with them at the top of our lungs. We made trips to Coronado for an hour here or there, just because lunch with Daddy was possible. And often, very often, both the boys wanted to know about the baby wherever we were. He is at the forefront of their minds.

This pregnancy has meant something to all of us. Every single member of our family is excited. Every single member reaches often for my belly, to feel Son3. They press, he kicks. They are loud, he kicks. Both boys lift up my shirt and kiss my belly spontaneously, or talk to the baby, or reason that he kicks because he must feel trapped and he wants out. Son2 is convinced he can push him out.

One day Hubs totally surprised me. He told me how beautiful I am pregnant, how he wants to remember these moments that our family is excited, and he arranged for a photo shoot at Coronado Beach. These are his shots of me, of the kids, and I love them. Professional pictures will get posted one day, you know, when I don't have to get to bed. That night on Coronado Beach was seemingly perfect. It was warm. It was peaceful. It was about our family.


Wednesday morning I was up early with Hubs, the day before my induction. It was in the 6am hour, and he was ready for his work day, and I was ready for mine. I came down the stairs, and a slow smile spread across his face. He called me outside to take pictures. So here we are. Son3 and me, overdue.

The other side of my emotion is excitement. I cannot wait to meet the newest Farmer. I cannot wait to see his teeny tiny face in my hands. And most of all, I cannot wait to share him. I have had his kicks all to myself, his movements to myself, and even some of the discomfort to myself. Now he will belong to our whole family in a different way. His daddy will hold him, and his brothers will kiss him. I know my heart will be full. For that, I am emotional, too.