Here's to Tomorrow!

My parents, sister, and nephew were all at our home tonight. We popped in Julie & Julia. I laughed to myself when Julie was so excited to get a single blog comment early in the movie. I wondered if I might get just one comment if I posted to my blog. It has been so long.

I fell asleep before the end of the movie. I said goodnight to the company and climbed the stairs. I was the only one awake. I slipped through our bedroom door and scooped up Son1 in my arms. He had fallen asleep in our bed. He didn't exactly end up in my arms. He was more dangling to my ankles. I nearly lost my balance as I took a step backward. I am only 13 inches taller and he is only five! How long had it been since I last carried him like this? Probably several months, probably before I had the baby, probably before I hit my last trimester. Wow. Images from the book I Love You Forever rushed through my mind. My baby he will always be. Sigh. Lord, please tell me he might remember the good things from today. Could he remember playing trains with his brother, or that his daddy rushed to the grocery store this morning so he could make him a special breakfast, or that we let him stay up late with his cousin? Could he remember spouting train whistle sounds and sirens, or the balloon he got tonight at church, or a baby brother that was truly amused by his antics?

Could he just forget a mama screeching over Christmas breakables? Could he forget that I was grouchy and sleep deprived with a touch of holiday stress thrown in for good measure? Those are not the Christmas memories I want for him this year.

I am so proud of him. He has grown so much in Kindergarten. He is thriving in school, in AWANAs, and as a big brother. His heart has grown by leaps and bounds for his two little brothers. He is so loved by his parents, particularly by an imperfect mother who needs tomorrow to come, so I can start again.