My parents, sister, and nephew were all at our home tonight. We popped in Julie & Julia. I laughed to myself when Julie was so excited to get a single blog comment early in the movie. I wondered if I might get just one comment if I posted to my blog. It has been so long.
I fell asleep before the end of the movie. I said goodnight to the company and climbed the stairs. I was the only one awake. I slipped through our bedroom door and scooped up Son1 in my arms. He had fallen asleep in our bed. He didn't exactly end up in my arms. He was more dangling to my ankles. I nearly lost my balance as I took a step backward. I am only 13 inches taller and he is only five! How long had it been since I last carried him like this? Probably several months, probably before I had the baby, probably before I hit my last trimester. Wow. Images from the book I Love You Forever rushed through my mind. My baby he will always be. Sigh. Lord, please tell me he might remember the good things from today. Could he remember playing trains with his brother, or that his daddy rushed to the grocery store this morning so he could make him a special breakfast, or that we let him stay up late with his cousin? Could he remember spouting train whistle sounds and sirens, or the balloon he got tonight at church, or a baby brother that was truly amused by his antics?
Could he just forget a mama screeching over Christmas breakables? Could he forget that I was grouchy and sleep deprived with a touch of holiday stress thrown in for good measure? Those are not the Christmas memories I want for him this year.
I am so proud of him. He has grown so much in Kindergarten. He is thriving in school, in AWANAs, and as a big brother. His heart has grown by leaps and bounds for his two little brothers. He is so loved by his parents, particularly by an imperfect mother who needs tomorrow to come, so I can start again.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
I hope the movie Julie and Julia was better than the book. The book made me want to hurl across the room. I love this POST! It is already tomorrow....
ReplyDeleteOH!!! Friend, that has been my week!!! I'm heartbroken over my quick tongue/actions/attitudes with my oldest ~ "HE'S 5" I told my man. "It's not like last PG when he was 3.5; he's going to remember "mean" mommy." It makes my heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteBut then, would we want them to idolize us? I mean really? If we were so great, then why would they need Jesus? (I do not mean to say we should stop in our spiritual growth or quench the Spirit from working in us, showing how to live beyond our natural man!) But these thoughts remind me to remind Ethan, I'm not perfect. And I need Jesus as much as he does. And I suppose, can even show him how to repent, confess, seek forgiveness and have a fresh start.
Love you!!
Here's to all our Tomorrows!
rachel
I have prayed the same type of prayer many, many times.
ReplyDeleteI know, for myself, that the things I remember are the simple ones, the good ones, the happy ones. Those are the things I hope for my daughter to remember too.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a good time. I hadn't watched that movie yet, and I want to!
Nice to see you post again! :)
Awww this is so sweet. Boy we've all been there and just prayed they only remember the good stuff. I think he will.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas Sweet Momma.
♥
Joy
It's great to see you post again. But with 3 little ones, I can imagine you have a few other more important things to do! I'm sure Son #1, Son #2 and Son #3 will all remember the good times with their family. Oh sure, they will remember a few of the not so good times too but that's what makes the good times all the better. I think every mommy has the same fears that you have. I know I did but I think my 2 remember far more good times than bad.
ReplyDeletewelcome back to blogworld!
ReplyDeleteIt's so good to hear from you again!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're doing well Mama!
ReplyDelete