Why I Can't Pick Just One

Sometimes being the new mommy on the block seems more frightening than being the new kid on the block. The new kid just wonders when they will have a friend. The new mommy on the block has actually been around the block. I know what it is to be new. I know what it is to make deep friendships. I know what it means to click with a mommy but not with her kids. I know what it is to click with nice kids, and wish their parents were different. And then sometimes I click with someone and our kids click.

Have you ever just met someone and thought, hmmm, I can tell we click? Have you ever anticipated a "next time" meeting? Have you ever thought of the questions you might ask that person ahed of time, just to be prepared? Well, I met her in the last couple of weeks. Then, we were on the same email distribution list for an upcoming event. And then, I googled her last night.

Last night. Last night I was in a different place before I googled her. I struggled to choose whom to send a Dayspring card for the National Day of Encouragement. A card pack was given to me by the folks at Dayspring and the (in)courage blog. I was asked to write just one card. The cards are absolutely gorgeous. I juggled a list of names in my mind. Who really needed to be encouraged? Whose "story" could I share? I had no answers. I asked God to tug on my heart and bring one person to mind. And then I got distracted. And my mind wandered. And I googled her.

I already had my questions ready for our next meeting. And then I googled her. Suddenly I had no more questions. She lost her husband, and has three small children. The eldest is my six year old son's age. My heart nearly fell out of my chest. My stomach was somewhere around my ankles. I realized my idea of who she is, is just an idea. My heart filled with compassion for her and for her kids.

God answered. My heart was tugged. There is no time like the present. This life is so brief with no guarantees, no warranties, no return policies. I am sending every single card that I received out to every single woman that has crossed my mind that needs to be encouraged this week.

And as for her, I am keeping what I know to myself. I am making an effort to know her. I will move out of my comfort zone, out of the new mom on the block insecurity, into plain sight. I just may make a friendship.