The Road To Harvard: Part I

We drove in the dark across the desert of a hot July night to Arizona, just Son3 and me. It was quiet. Too quiet. He was not exactly the chattiest driving buddy. It was so peaceful that I fought to stay awake. I caught up to Hubs and the older boys an hour and a half after I left San Diego. Still, Phoenix felt eons away.

We planned to stop at GG's (great grandma's) house for dinner. We were so late, hours late. Dinner turned into a 1am midnight snack of barbecued meat. GG had it waiting, and my kids scarfed it down. Forget that we had stopped for In-N-Out; they ate like champs. At 80 years old, that is GG for you, opening her doors unbiased by time of day. It is the same hospitality that runs deep in my husband's family across generations. My mother in law is just the same, and so is the Hubs. They are quick to serve others before themselves. Their character comes before their comfort. It is how we are training our boys. It is who we want them to become.

We dragged ourselves through a nearby hotel lobby an hour later to a nice suite. We slept. We woke. We ate. GG and Grandma T came for a swim, and left for G.G.'s house.

I did not feel the weight of the move. I did not feel the weight of the road trip.

I felt peace. I gave what I could. A handful of family members received.

The year after my sister in love's death, the Lord gave our family new life. Our first child was born. I do not believe he granted life to replace anyone, or to give back whom he had taken. He is God and he owes us nothing. No, he granted life in spite of her death.

Joy after death is very hard to explain, but very sweet to taste. For me to return to Arizona, to taste grief, and to hold joy in my arms all at once, is an inexplicable feeling. It reminded me how God extends mercy and grace in spite of grief.

I gave what I could. I gave my children time to freely interact with their grandmothers. I knew our time was short. I knew their love was big. I knew traffic was mounting. I knew my kids were acting naughty. I knew this time was cherished. I knew that my Hubs was mission oriented and anxious to get on the road, and time was of the essence. I gave what I could. I gave time.

I ran a load of laundry at G.G.'s house but did not move it to the dryer. The Arizona heat was sweltering at 113 degrees. G.G. and Son1 collected the wet clothes and pinched them between clothes pins on the clothes line. Giggles, laughter, and directions on just how to dry clothes in the desert streamed through an open sliding glass door. I wish I had taken that picture. She took the picture in her mind, and so did he. He talks about how he hung the laundry in the desert with his great grandmother, and she reminds him when she calls.

G.G. gave what she could. She gave time outside. She gave time inside. Hubs and Son2 took a quiet nap in the cool back bedroom that once was Carina's. It looks different now, but it looks the same. I peeked in, and quietly closed the door, remembering many nights I slept in that same room. Back in the living room I found GG and Son1 playing Go Fish. I heard more giggles, more directions, and watched as GG patiently sat with my beautiful son around a low coffee table she has had for probably fifty years. I joined them at the coffee table, where she played cards with her own children, her grandchildren, and now her great grandchildren. I thought about the last time I played at that coffee table Carina was still here. And then, my mind remembered the story that I have heard many, many times about GG teaching my husband to play Go Fish in the hospital when he was waiting for his first brother to be born.
When I tasted grief that day in Arizona, I knew mercy and compassion. Though our family has walked through the valley of the shadow of death, we have felt the comfort of God. We have not been alone, even in our grief. And still, I felt more in GG's living room.

The taste of grace is to know joy, to choose to giggle, to celebrate life, and to be playful, every day, regardless of the circumstance. It is choosing to count it all joy in spite of death, giggles in spite of a pressing drive across the country with three small children, and granting time, because life is so brief. It is sometimes all we can give, time. To know grace is to extend kindness to others because of the kindness God has shown us through his Son.

It was almost time to leave. The laundry was packed. The cards were put away. Suddenly, Son1 hailed us to the sliding glass door. There on GG's lawn was a bunny rabbit. We watched her play and scamper. That bunny made a connection for us across states, across generations. For me, it was just another peace omen.

For weeks leading up to our trip across country, GG

It was time. We were starving, so we piled into three cars to Cracker Barrel for dinner. I took one last picture of my boys with their grandmother and GG.


Dinner time came and went. We sat for awhile more in the rocking chairs outside the restaurant while I fed the baby one more meal. Time to go. We realized one bag was still back at GG's house. So Hubs and our older two boys jumped in the truck, pulling the trailer, while Son3 and I drove back for the forgotten bag.

 I found it quickly, and allowed GG to rearrange the inside of my van. Well, she gave me no choice. There was no stopping her. My mother in law and I just shook our heads. GG is determined.

Once again, it was time. GG grabbed me something fierce and told me she wanted to pray for me. She did. She pulled away and I could see tears in her eyes and in my mother in law's eyes. No, no, no. I made a little joke, and soon enough the glassy eyes were gone.

Life is so brief. Our family knows.

I carefully made my way to I-17. It was desert dark. It was windy. It was rainy. Everyone was speeding. On that highway I thanked God for Carina. The last time I was on this highway was ten years before, when we drove across country together. I prayed for safety for 2 hours for my friends. They were driving through the night after the loss of a family member from Kansas. They would be on the same highway in a couple of hours, in the opposite direction.

Finally, I met up with Hubs and the boys in Flagstaff near midnight. We spent the night in a hotel across from his college apartment.

The next day we toured Meteor Crater.

This is an open window that framed the desert scene perfectly.

 

The crater is 4,000 feet wide and over 500 feet deep.

We watched a very scientific movie about the meteorite that caused the crater. It brought Son1 nearly to tears. He wanted to know why God would allow this to happen. I had no answers. I offered that it would not happen again. He asked me how I knew that. I realized that I have no guarantees in this life for my kids. I could not guarantee a meteor would not hit the Earth, just as I cannot guarantee that my kids will not experience hurt and grief. It was a sobering thought. Minutes passed. New thoughts. The crater was an amazing sight.

It was time to jump back in the cars. All of our possessions not in our cars were in this teeny tiny trailer.

Time to hit the road again, with no guarantees for the next day, or the day after that.

Spring Break with Grandma T. and GG

Grandma T. and GG planned their trip to Hawaii during Son1's break from preschool. Here is a little more about the visit.

One of our favorite things to do is go to Waikiki on a Friday night and swim at the Hale Koa. We usually have dinner at Bibas, and then watch the fireworks at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. Grandma T. loves to swim, so this suited her perfectly!

Now this is what I love about Hubby. He sat with Son2 and helped him with a roast beef sandwich, just so I could get in and swim, too. We had just one little problem. There was a little confusion and Grandma T. and GG did not bring a change of clothes. Thank goodness for swimsuit cover ups because the Farmer Family had plans. We were going to dinner, and were going to watch the fireworks! Let's just say they eventually came around! You know what we say when there's a problem? We just flash the shaka (hang loose sign) and blurt out, "Hang loose!"
Another day we went to the North Shore to the Turtle Bay lagoons. This is a different resort than I have previously written about, that also has lagoons open to the public. People do snorkel, and do see turtles. We did not see any that day, though. Hubby and GG sat up on the beach while Grandma T., Son1, Son2, and I swam in the ocean. Now, it just wasn't a four generation kind of a swim without GG. She thought about how her great grand kids were in the water without her. So she sprang up and decided it was time to get in.
We were kind of all over the place, so this was one of the only pictures to prove we had a four generation swim. Clicking on the picture will make us bigger.
At the beach we watched this dog be trained to retrieve a boogie board alone, over and over , far past the water break. He is a Newfoundland, and he was big! The sun started to set, and we headed home. GG and Grandma T. were tired! They relaxed at home, and gave Hubby and I a chance to have dinner out, without children! Imagine that!Another day we rode the The Hawaiian Railway in Ewa Beach. Since they were encountering some construction on the railway, the trip was only 45 minutes. We went a different route than the time we had ridden the train before. One of the engineers punched the tickets with an old fashioned railway ticket punch.
The train headed eastbound rather than ewa bound. (Ewa is pronounced eh-vah. The w in the Hawaiian language makes the "v" sound. The word means westbound.) We saw one of the original sugar cane plantations on the island. See the tree in the upper right corner? It is called a Golden Tree. The blossoms are always golden. They make me smile because they oddly remind me of Fall on the East Coast, with the vibrant and deep gold color. My favorite part of the train ride was watching the old fashioned railway switch signs that tell the trains in which direction to travel. They are original from when the Oahu Railway and Land Company used to operate the narrow gauge common carrier railroad, until 1947. They could be in full use, but are not, since the only train riding was the one we were on. At the halfway point of the trip, the engineer that was the narrator asked if anyone had celebrated a birthday recently. The entire train, consisting of several open passenger cars of people, sang Happy Birthday to Son2. GG was so proud!

Well, all good visits must come to an end. On Grandma T. and GG's last day in Hawaii, they got to visit Son1's preschool class. Their last day in Hawaii was the first day back from Spring Break. GG was so impressed she was moved to tears. But the teachers were also impressed with her. Being a senior member of a family in Hawaii is a huge honor. So, the preschool teacher and teacher's aide asked how old GG was. They were so honored to have Son1's great grandmother in class they took our picture and offered hugs. It was a very sweet moment.

Once Son1 was home from preschool, we spent our last hours together on the North Shore. From the time we left our house to the time we got to our first stop, the Dole Plantation, the rain was pouring down. We were afraid the rain wasn't going to let up. We rode the Pineapple Express, and both boys loved the minutes on the train with GG and Grandma T.

We rounded a bend and the rain came to an abrupt stop. I looked out across the pineapple fields and saw this rainbow. If you look above it you can faintly make out the second double rainbow. One day I just may tell you why I think God made these for me. But right then, we all looked out at those rainbows in awe. We arrived at the train platform and headed for the big Dole store. Hubby met us there shortly after work.Our last stop on the North Shore was historic Haleiwa Town. This is the largest commercial center on the North Shore, with a residential population of just over 2,000. This is also where our family favorite, the Grass Skirt Grill, is located. GG loves coconut, so of course we ordered a plate of coconut shrimp. They served it with two sauces, an orange and a more spicy sauce. This is one of their specialties.

More importantly, they serve the best teriyaki cheese fries. To the Farmers, these are the best fries on the island. We just giggled and giggled watching Son2 devour these. Once he got a taste, he just couldn't help himself, probably because I have him on such a fresh diet. Mmmm, saturated fat!

Their burgers are also our favorites. By request, they also come with a half an avocado as a topping. To die for!

The owner of the Grass Skirt Grill also owns the Surf shops next door, called Strong Current. This is his Woody.

This was a great way to end the visit, with full bellies and wide smiles. The boys were sad to say goodbye to Grandma T. and GG. But we have this saying in Hawaii...A Hui Ho! Until we meet again!

The "End" of the Easter Tale

We had some sickies on Easter. The kids were both on prescriptions, one for congestion, and the other for a sinus infection. There was one more "end" to the day. Son1 and GG both were constipated. What those two had or had not been eating the last day or so, I had really not paid close attention. But I had a great answer for their problems. In the past, Asian pears have worked amazingly well for Son1. So I sat these two outside for some fresh air, relaxation, and hopefully a natural laxative.

Asian pears resemble an apple, and are golden in color. They crunch like an apple, but do not soften like other pear varieties. They are juicy and sweet, but not too sweet. They are Son1's favorite fruit, and were my potty training friends.

In between cutting pears, I looked down to find Son2 on an Easter hunt of his own.

Easter in Hawaii

We had a good amount of Easter celebration in Hawaii. And you know what I love about Hawaii? There is none of this PC stuff about not celebrating Christian holidays. Hawaii is a pretty spiritual place in general, so faith is a common practice. However, Hawaii is the third most unchurched state in the union, with less than ten percent of folks attending a Bible believing church. Given all of this, no one blinks an eye about celebrating Christian holidays in the work place or in public. I love it! Plus, you can talk about your faith and people do not absolutely flip out, because that just wouldn't be showing aloha. People are willing to listen, even if they don't agree.

So, the first part of the Easter celebration started with goody bags at school. In celebration of Easter, the kids exchange little cellophane bags with treats with every kid in the class. Think Easter basket in a bag. That meant tons of Easter candy. And good candy, too. One other thing about Hawaii. You give good stuff or it is goes noticed! No, there was no Jesus in the bag. But it was in celebration of Easter, not "Welcome Spring."Next, we were invited to an Easter egg hunt up the street. Now this is what I mean. This is truly local style, and I loved it. We were invited to an Easter party. This was not a Just For Christians kind of a thing, even though the party was focused on Jesus and His resurrection. There were about fifty kids there, and they were broken up by age group. Son1 was in the under 5 group. It started out that kids no older than three went first to collect Easter eggs with treats. I got funny looks because Son1 is tall and in the youngest group. He was taller than some of the 4 and 5 year olds. I explained he wouldn't be 4 until August, and he was a real three year old. After his group started, then the 4 and 5 year olds ran and picked up the eggs. There were two bounce houses that were each about 2 stories tall going around back. Then, there were Christian Easter crafts offered in the garage and in the driveway under the easy up tent. (That is a heavy duty tarp to all of you on the mainland. They are called easy ups here.) Also, a Christian drama skit was performed. Delicious local food was prepared for everyone there. Later that day we went to another Easter party for Hubby's work. Son2 had his first cotton candy. He chomped it right down. There was an Easter egg hunt, bounce houses, egg coloring, and several other keiki (Hawaiian word for children) activities. We did concede and torture our children by asking them to sit with the Easter bunny. They hated him, and I can see why. He is scary looking, isn't he?

Easter Sunday we went to church. Brunch was served local style. Buffets here are described as served local style. Now, I learned from a group of local friends early on that when you serve local style in Hawaii you always have too much food or it is considered rude not to have enough. Also, you should have enough left over if people want to take some food home. Well, the brunch line was several tables long and then four tables of desserts, pastries, and fruits. This brunch at our church is one of my favorite Easter in Hawaii memories. We are sitting under an easy up tent. The boys were dressed in matching shirts, and people commented on how cute they were. Something I have learned with having boys is that they too can be cute! I am wearing a green top that matches the stripe in their shirt. This goes back to us dressing like a team! It was special to have GG join us. She enjoyed watching Hubby play the bongos for worship, too.

The end of our Easter story is that everyone in our family was really sick. We didn't stay after church for the children's program, with the empty Easter egg hunt, praying for those that don't know Jesus yet, decorating shirts for children in Uganda, or getting the real Easter candy with the craft project. Nope! The boys were both on prescription medicine. We spent the rest of the afternoon at home sleeping.

Hot Malasadas

The other night Hubby brought home a special treat for our family, Hot Malasadas! They are known to be quite ono in Hawaii!A Hot Malasada is a Portuguese pastry. A lot of our Hawaiian food has Portuguese influence. These pastries are a fried dough on the outside, until golden brown. Still, they are moist and fluffy on the inside. Usually they are rolled in cinnamon and sugar or just sugar. Hubby brought some Hot Malasadas filled with coconut and chocolate. GG thinks they taste heavenly!!

GG is here!

Monday night GG flew in from Phoenix just to see her great grandsons in Hawaii. She is Hubby's grandmother, but her five great grandchildren call her GG, short for Great Grandma. She jumped right in with my two boys. She loves reading Son1 tons of stories, and he insists on sitting on top of her.
She treated us to a train ride on the Pineapple Express and we fed the carp at the Dole Plantation. If you haven't done that, and you have kids, that is a MUST DO. Ew...those fish are big and fat and slither up out of the water like hungry crocodiles for fish food. Ew! We stopped in Haleiwa afterward and GG spoiled us at our favorite homemade ice cream shop. Son2 had his very first ice cream...it was called Tahiti something. It was a vanilla ice cream. Oh that was so comical! Son2 cried, screamed, and squirmed each time the spoon was out of his mouth. He LOVED ice cream!Another day we headed out to the Ko'Olina lagoons for a swim and a beach picnic. We took turns hanging onto Son2 in the water.
GG and Son1 floated out in the calm water, and sometimes the gentle waves would push them onto the shore.
We had a bungie cord that was tied around the float to corral Son1 toward us. He loved every minute of the water, just like his big brother did when he was a baby. It was so nice that GG, the two boys, and I could all be in the water at the same time! GG is pretty active, but we just had to get her one thing, a walking stick. Now, GG refuses to use a cane, because she really doesn't need one. She had her knee replaced, and a walking stick just gives her better leverage every now and then on longer walks or hikes. Hubby just wanted me to go out and get an aluminum cane, and GG about came unglued. So Son1 and I ran around looking for a walking stick. GG has several of these in different states. She keeps one in California at her daughter's house, one in Colorado at another daughter's house, and one in Arizona where she lives, so she doesn't have to fly with a walking stick. She doesn't even use it every day, just on longer walks. Finally, the lady in the garden shop at Wal Mart suggested going to our local Hawaiian hardware store chain, City Mill. I explained to the man that my husband's grandmother needed a walking stick, and I needed a rounded piece of wood. He escorted Son1 and me to the back of the store, and waved us to a bin of bamboo sticks. He gave me this freaky look that suggested I might not actually want these sticks. PERFECT! Now, I ended up with a bamboo stick over six feet tall, but I figured Hubby could always cut it. I grabbed the stick for $3.69 and headed back toward the center of the store, where I asked another associate if they knew where I explained the project with the bamboo stick. I explained I needed a rubber bottom next. He looked at me with a cross between a puzzled look and an intrigued look. He led me to a section of rubber feet, and handed me a package. We squeezed a rubber foot over the bamboo, and it fit! Success for an additional $3.99! Once we got home, Hubby used his saw to cut down the stick, and wrapped the top with some duct tape. Now GG is set for some longer distances!

She will be here through the end of the month. Son1 is on Spring Break so we are able to spend all day together exploring the island this coming week, too!