On Forgetting: Niagra Falls

Today I am linking up with The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Fridays. Today's topic is:

On Forgetting

Got five minutes? Here’s a great way to spend them.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat without editing your voice.
2. Link back to the Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in.
3. Pony up the comment love for the five minuter who linked up before you.

GO.

 They give me the blank stare. I cannot convince them they DO remember that one time when....

And I dream that today will not be one of those times. I spun those very thoughts around in my mind when I pulled the billowing plastic rain coats over their heads and over their clothes. I was sharply aware that this dressing might slip their memories one day.

Will they remember that I grabbed the Middle Man by the wrist and charged him down the twisting path, across and over the foot bridge, and through the trees to the ticket booth, with Grandma huffing behind? She was clutching the Big Guy's wrist, as I breathlessly bought the very last tickets to the very last boat that day just minutes ahead.

Will they remember the way the birds dotted the shore and the rainbow bent in reverence in front of Niagra Falls? Will they remember the way our shoes were soaked past our socks, and the way that we arched backward to stare quietly at the cascading water? Will they remember the broken silence by happy screams, showering under heart dropping sprays from the plunging white throttles?

STOP.
Pictures from the day:

The Road To Harvard: Part I

We drove in the dark across the desert of a hot July night to Arizona, just Son3 and me. It was quiet. Too quiet. He was not exactly the chattiest driving buddy. It was so peaceful that I fought to stay awake. I caught up to Hubs and the older boys an hour and a half after I left San Diego. Still, Phoenix felt eons away.

We planned to stop at GG's (great grandma's) house for dinner. We were so late, hours late. Dinner turned into a 1am midnight snack of barbecued meat. GG had it waiting, and my kids scarfed it down. Forget that we had stopped for In-N-Out; they ate like champs. At 80 years old, that is GG for you, opening her doors unbiased by time of day. It is the same hospitality that runs deep in my husband's family across generations. My mother in law is just the same, and so is the Hubs. They are quick to serve others before themselves. Their character comes before their comfort. It is how we are training our boys. It is who we want them to become.

We dragged ourselves through a nearby hotel lobby an hour later to a nice suite. We slept. We woke. We ate. GG and Grandma T came for a swim, and left for G.G.'s house.

I did not feel the weight of the move. I did not feel the weight of the road trip.

I felt peace. I gave what I could. A handful of family members received.

The year after my sister in love's death, the Lord gave our family new life. Our first child was born. I do not believe he granted life to replace anyone, or to give back whom he had taken. He is God and he owes us nothing. No, he granted life in spite of her death.

Joy after death is very hard to explain, but very sweet to taste. For me to return to Arizona, to taste grief, and to hold joy in my arms all at once, is an inexplicable feeling. It reminded me how God extends mercy and grace in spite of grief.

I gave what I could. I gave my children time to freely interact with their grandmothers. I knew our time was short. I knew their love was big. I knew traffic was mounting. I knew my kids were acting naughty. I knew this time was cherished. I knew that my Hubs was mission oriented and anxious to get on the road, and time was of the essence. I gave what I could. I gave time.

I ran a load of laundry at G.G.'s house but did not move it to the dryer. The Arizona heat was sweltering at 113 degrees. G.G. and Son1 collected the wet clothes and pinched them between clothes pins on the clothes line. Giggles, laughter, and directions on just how to dry clothes in the desert streamed through an open sliding glass door. I wish I had taken that picture. She took the picture in her mind, and so did he. He talks about how he hung the laundry in the desert with his great grandmother, and she reminds him when she calls.

G.G. gave what she could. She gave time outside. She gave time inside. Hubs and Son2 took a quiet nap in the cool back bedroom that once was Carina's. It looks different now, but it looks the same. I peeked in, and quietly closed the door, remembering many nights I slept in that same room. Back in the living room I found GG and Son1 playing Go Fish. I heard more giggles, more directions, and watched as GG patiently sat with my beautiful son around a low coffee table she has had for probably fifty years. I joined them at the coffee table, where she played cards with her own children, her grandchildren, and now her great grandchildren. I thought about the last time I played at that coffee table Carina was still here. And then, my mind remembered the story that I have heard many, many times about GG teaching my husband to play Go Fish in the hospital when he was waiting for his first brother to be born.
When I tasted grief that day in Arizona, I knew mercy and compassion. Though our family has walked through the valley of the shadow of death, we have felt the comfort of God. We have not been alone, even in our grief. And still, I felt more in GG's living room.

The taste of grace is to know joy, to choose to giggle, to celebrate life, and to be playful, every day, regardless of the circumstance. It is choosing to count it all joy in spite of death, giggles in spite of a pressing drive across the country with three small children, and granting time, because life is so brief. It is sometimes all we can give, time. To know grace is to extend kindness to others because of the kindness God has shown us through his Son.

It was almost time to leave. The laundry was packed. The cards were put away. Suddenly, Son1 hailed us to the sliding glass door. There on GG's lawn was a bunny rabbit. We watched her play and scamper. That bunny made a connection for us across states, across generations. For me, it was just another peace omen.

For weeks leading up to our trip across country, GG

It was time. We were starving, so we piled into three cars to Cracker Barrel for dinner. I took one last picture of my boys with their grandmother and GG.


Dinner time came and went. We sat for awhile more in the rocking chairs outside the restaurant while I fed the baby one more meal. Time to go. We realized one bag was still back at GG's house. So Hubs and our older two boys jumped in the truck, pulling the trailer, while Son3 and I drove back for the forgotten bag.

 I found it quickly, and allowed GG to rearrange the inside of my van. Well, she gave me no choice. There was no stopping her. My mother in law and I just shook our heads. GG is determined.

Once again, it was time. GG grabbed me something fierce and told me she wanted to pray for me. She did. She pulled away and I could see tears in her eyes and in my mother in law's eyes. No, no, no. I made a little joke, and soon enough the glassy eyes were gone.

Life is so brief. Our family knows.

I carefully made my way to I-17. It was desert dark. It was windy. It was rainy. Everyone was speeding. On that highway I thanked God for Carina. The last time I was on this highway was ten years before, when we drove across country together. I prayed for safety for 2 hours for my friends. They were driving through the night after the loss of a family member from Kansas. They would be on the same highway in a couple of hours, in the opposite direction.

Finally, I met up with Hubs and the boys in Flagstaff near midnight. We spent the night in a hotel across from his college apartment.

The next day we toured Meteor Crater.

This is an open window that framed the desert scene perfectly.

 

The crater is 4,000 feet wide and over 500 feet deep.

We watched a very scientific movie about the meteorite that caused the crater. It brought Son1 nearly to tears. He wanted to know why God would allow this to happen. I had no answers. I offered that it would not happen again. He asked me how I knew that. I realized that I have no guarantees in this life for my kids. I could not guarantee a meteor would not hit the Earth, just as I cannot guarantee that my kids will not experience hurt and grief. It was a sobering thought. Minutes passed. New thoughts. The crater was an amazing sight.

It was time to jump back in the cars. All of our possessions not in our cars were in this teeny tiny trailer.

Time to hit the road again, with no guarantees for the next day, or the day after that.

Spring Break with Grandma T. and GG

Grandma T. and GG planned their trip to Hawaii during Son1's break from preschool. Here is a little more about the visit.

One of our favorite things to do is go to Waikiki on a Friday night and swim at the Hale Koa. We usually have dinner at Bibas, and then watch the fireworks at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. Grandma T. loves to swim, so this suited her perfectly!

Now this is what I love about Hubby. He sat with Son2 and helped him with a roast beef sandwich, just so I could get in and swim, too. We had just one little problem. There was a little confusion and Grandma T. and GG did not bring a change of clothes. Thank goodness for swimsuit cover ups because the Farmer Family had plans. We were going to dinner, and were going to watch the fireworks! Let's just say they eventually came around! You know what we say when there's a problem? We just flash the shaka (hang loose sign) and blurt out, "Hang loose!"
Another day we went to the North Shore to the Turtle Bay lagoons. This is a different resort than I have previously written about, that also has lagoons open to the public. People do snorkel, and do see turtles. We did not see any that day, though. Hubby and GG sat up on the beach while Grandma T., Son1, Son2, and I swam in the ocean. Now, it just wasn't a four generation kind of a swim without GG. She thought about how her great grand kids were in the water without her. So she sprang up and decided it was time to get in.
We were kind of all over the place, so this was one of the only pictures to prove we had a four generation swim. Clicking on the picture will make us bigger.
At the beach we watched this dog be trained to retrieve a boogie board alone, over and over , far past the water break. He is a Newfoundland, and he was big! The sun started to set, and we headed home. GG and Grandma T. were tired! They relaxed at home, and gave Hubby and I a chance to have dinner out, without children! Imagine that!Another day we rode the The Hawaiian Railway in Ewa Beach. Since they were encountering some construction on the railway, the trip was only 45 minutes. We went a different route than the time we had ridden the train before. One of the engineers punched the tickets with an old fashioned railway ticket punch.
The train headed eastbound rather than ewa bound. (Ewa is pronounced eh-vah. The w in the Hawaiian language makes the "v" sound. The word means westbound.) We saw one of the original sugar cane plantations on the island. See the tree in the upper right corner? It is called a Golden Tree. The blossoms are always golden. They make me smile because they oddly remind me of Fall on the East Coast, with the vibrant and deep gold color. My favorite part of the train ride was watching the old fashioned railway switch signs that tell the trains in which direction to travel. They are original from when the Oahu Railway and Land Company used to operate the narrow gauge common carrier railroad, until 1947. They could be in full use, but are not, since the only train riding was the one we were on. At the halfway point of the trip, the engineer that was the narrator asked if anyone had celebrated a birthday recently. The entire train, consisting of several open passenger cars of people, sang Happy Birthday to Son2. GG was so proud!

Well, all good visits must come to an end. On Grandma T. and GG's last day in Hawaii, they got to visit Son1's preschool class. Their last day in Hawaii was the first day back from Spring Break. GG was so impressed she was moved to tears. But the teachers were also impressed with her. Being a senior member of a family in Hawaii is a huge honor. So, the preschool teacher and teacher's aide asked how old GG was. They were so honored to have Son1's great grandmother in class they took our picture and offered hugs. It was a very sweet moment.

Once Son1 was home from preschool, we spent our last hours together on the North Shore. From the time we left our house to the time we got to our first stop, the Dole Plantation, the rain was pouring down. We were afraid the rain wasn't going to let up. We rode the Pineapple Express, and both boys loved the minutes on the train with GG and Grandma T.

We rounded a bend and the rain came to an abrupt stop. I looked out across the pineapple fields and saw this rainbow. If you look above it you can faintly make out the second double rainbow. One day I just may tell you why I think God made these for me. But right then, we all looked out at those rainbows in awe. We arrived at the train platform and headed for the big Dole store. Hubby met us there shortly after work.Our last stop on the North Shore was historic Haleiwa Town. This is the largest commercial center on the North Shore, with a residential population of just over 2,000. This is also where our family favorite, the Grass Skirt Grill, is located. GG loves coconut, so of course we ordered a plate of coconut shrimp. They served it with two sauces, an orange and a more spicy sauce. This is one of their specialties.

More importantly, they serve the best teriyaki cheese fries. To the Farmers, these are the best fries on the island. We just giggled and giggled watching Son2 devour these. Once he got a taste, he just couldn't help himself, probably because I have him on such a fresh diet. Mmmm, saturated fat!

Their burgers are also our favorites. By request, they also come with a half an avocado as a topping. To die for!

The owner of the Grass Skirt Grill also owns the Surf shops next door, called Strong Current. This is his Woody.

This was a great way to end the visit, with full bellies and wide smiles. The boys were sad to say goodbye to Grandma T. and GG. But we have this saying in Hawaii...A Hui Ho! Until we meet again!