On Forgetting: Niagra Falls

Today I am linking up with The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Fridays. Today's topic is:

On Forgetting

Got five minutes? Here’s a great way to spend them.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat without editing your voice.
2. Link back to the Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in.
3. Pony up the comment love for the five minuter who linked up before you.

GO.

 They give me the blank stare. I cannot convince them they DO remember that one time when....

And I dream that today will not be one of those times. I spun those very thoughts around in my mind when I pulled the billowing plastic rain coats over their heads and over their clothes. I was sharply aware that this dressing might slip their memories one day.

Will they remember that I grabbed the Middle Man by the wrist and charged him down the twisting path, across and over the foot bridge, and through the trees to the ticket booth, with Grandma huffing behind? She was clutching the Big Guy's wrist, as I breathlessly bought the very last tickets to the very last boat that day just minutes ahead.

Will they remember the way the birds dotted the shore and the rainbow bent in reverence in front of Niagra Falls? Will they remember the way our shoes were soaked past our socks, and the way that we arched backward to stare quietly at the cascading water? Will they remember the broken silence by happy screams, showering under heart dropping sprays from the plunging white throttles?

STOP.
Pictures from the day:

FOUR!

I looked for one picture all day. Dr. Romance found it buried in 2007. It is a picture I never imagined I would publish here. I was afraid of everything the doctors told me for over a year about my four month old baby.

It is the picture of Son2 sedated, hooked up to many wires, monitored in a hospital after the first seizures that lasted 4 months. I met with a specialist doctor every few months, for over a year. She frightened me with all of her "possibilities."

In my hunt for the picture, I found others from the years we lived in Hawaii:

First time on the Big Island

At the top of Haleakala Crater in Maui

He stood up on this boogie board unprompted. I caught it on camera.

Our last night in Hawaii, trying to convince Son 2 to lose the pacifier at Roy's.

I saved that picture of Son2 and the wires. I would look at in now and then on my computer with a heavy heart. I remember the first years of caution, of prayers, and tears in Hawaii. Those were moments I shared with only Dr. Romance. I did not want to think of "possibilities."

When Son2 turned 2 we had just moved to California. His pediatrician told me there were no symptoms. I waited breathlessly for his third birthday. No signs.

And then he turned 4.

I realized that all the fears that once gripped me,
the uncertainties of what Is Not At All,
are No Where to be Found.

He is FOUR!
He speaks well beyond his years.
He befriended a professor who asked him if he was 20.
He runs and jumps and pretends he is Buzz Lightyear or Woody.
His new pediatrician noted he is the most active of my boys.

He is healthy and bright.
He is full of good POSSIBILITY.

We celebrated FOUR with a private showing of Toy Story 3 in a vintage movie theater including his friends.
We celebrated with Grandma flying in from Arizona. This is in the movie theater before the guests arrived.

We celebrated at preschool when I read his favorite book to the class, and when we made hamburger puppets.

 We celebrated Again and Again at a restaurant with cloth napkins and fancy desserts.

And it resonates with me that we celebrated his LIFE.
We celebrated Living.
We celebrated precious, precious breaths....measured breaths.
We counted them, four years long.
We numbered good Grace.
And we gave thanks for his LIFE.

This New Year With Three Boys

I was coming back here anyway. Regular blogging in 2010 is one of my three resolutions. But Rachel nearly sent me an S.O.S. email. I kindly responded with no answers and told her to read my blog, because I am sensitive like that.

She asked if Son1 is back in school. I am sure she genuinely wanted to know. Everyone asks me that these days. But they don't just ask me. They ask me with a hopefulness, like that should bring me some relief from three boys at home. Nope, he is home until mid January, and I am thrilled. This house is rockin' like a jack hammer hit it. The walls are shaking, the floor is pounding, and my head is spinning. Not always. But a lot of the time it is loud. That is OK with me. Contentment is a choice. I am drinking life in, because for now, I have two little boys that still call me Mommy, and I am just not ready to give it up. When it is gone, a season will have passed, and I am not ready to be Just Mom yet. For now, I get saluted and called Captain by my pirates with wild imaginations. But the start of a new year reminds me that time is passing.

The other day we dined at a lunch buffet kind of place. On the price list kids 3 and under were free, kids 3 to 5 were a certain price, and then kids 6 to 12 were another price. Perfect. Hubs and I plus our five year old made for a cheap lunch. The cashier tried to correct us. She asked us how old Son2 was, though we told her he was free. Then she tried to correct us about Son1's age. Yup, he is five until August. She was not convinced. I finally apologized, noting that Hubs and I are short, and somehow we are blessed with tall children but we really were not lying. No one believes us ever. They are big kids. And because they are physically big, I wonder often if that will speed up their emotional maturity beyond their years. I truly hope not. I want them to be 5 and 2 just because they are only that old!!

So these winter days (it is in the mid 70s here) have been flanked by evenings around our fire pit, roasting marshmallows over an open fire, and squishing them into s'mores. We have had two children fall in the pool since New Year's on two different nights. Yes, both were boys, and no, neither were mine. That is no surprise; life around this house is active, with scooter riding and hide and go seek in the dark.

Son3 is just a gem so far. He seems to wonder when it gets too quiet, unless he is in his crib. He wants in on the action. He starts to squawk if he can hear us but cannot see us. He is happiest when his brothers are around and does not yet mind the chaos. The big boys are perfectly at ease when I am occupied with the baby to drum up some turbulence around the house. They have that "when the cat is away the mice will play" syndrome. I am grateful for their bond, though.

Life here is busy and exhausting. Feeding an infant, popping the toddler on and off the potty, and working on Kinder skills with the eldest is just a fraction of all that needs to be accomplished in a day. I fall in bed ready for the day to be over. In that moment, I choose contentment over worry, over frustration, and over life's curve balls. My life is full.

But that choice to be content can be so hard some days. Raising our boys is a two person gig. My Hubs steps up to the plate so often. He reminds me to be gentle, to be patient, to find joy in the moments that are not so joyous, because they are just moments. So it is with these fruits of the spirit that we have ventured out so much since Son3 has been born. Here we are, just before our little man's third trip to the zoo, just before Christmas.


LL recently wrote this post about THIS DAY.

I read it and I just kept thinking of this song.

Waterslides and the Price of Fine Japanese Food

I finally quit moping about the camera I dropped down the lava tube. It was making my family too sad, and the kids needed me to get wet with them. Unfortunately, Hubs had a horrific accident a month before we left on the trip to the Big Island. The short of the very long and gross story is that he could not get his leg wet because of a puncture wound nearly to his shin bone. It was an open wound and still had not closed almost a month later. (That story is super gory and I will only tell it if you make me. Plus, it's not like I am behind in my blogging, right?!? The short version, is that his doctor, along with another orthopedic surgeon agreed he risked having his leg amputated since he waited to seek treatment for a few days after the accident. It became infected from the inside of his body out. Ewww!!)

Even though it was just the boys and me in the water, and I was sporting my 32 week bump, I was amazed that both boys were so independent on the water slides. Handling the two boys alone and pregnant in the pool was not nearly as difficult as I imagined. Really, my feelings were not hurt that they preferred one another to me. Okay, maybe I was a little shocked for a minute. I felt a little guilty treading water in the pool while they slid down the slide, dumped into the pool, and swam to the edge over and over. My two little fish loved swimming away from me. I suppose they thought that was funny. This is the water slide at our vacation ownership resort. Hubs took pictures with his camera.
We also are allowed to use the hotel resort next door. Now here is the thing I loved the most. Had I been at a water park, I am sure I would have been banned from the water slides because of my "health condition." But at the resort it did not matter that I was very pregnant! Can you spot the boys behind me? Too bad you can't see me in this suit standing up. In three pregnancies this is my absolute favorite maternity suit!
The OTHER thing we did at the properties was attend a presentation to buy more vacation ownership. I purposely am not mentioning where we own because this is the one and only time we had a not so pleasant experience. Generally the pitch to owners is a no pressure sale, because they believe their hotel brand sells itself. And it does. The presentation usually goes like this: They say, "So you don't want to spend money today. Any questions? GREAT. Here is your check for $100. Bye. Enjoy your time here." Or something to that effect. That did not happen this time.

I made the mistake of telling the egomaniac with a smile I was not going to leave without my $100. Ugh. I think he took that as a challenge. He brought my kids legos. He brought them snacks. He tried to get them to watch a movie. He offered to buy us dinner. He told us we deserved this. He questioned our judgment and logic when we said no. And I felt trapped. So I had to spring us from this guy's office.

A little known fact is that I finished half an economics degree in college before I changed my major (long story, but I wanted to graduate fast, instead). I still read Forbes. I still follow economic trends, and I like to weigh opportunity costs. So I launched into an incredible diatribe on the state of our economy, the evolution of the American mentality of entitlement, and how we must be more judicious in our economic choices in the state of our current economic crisis. But what I said was much more involved, intelligent, articulate and beautiful, all while I snapped legos together, passed out snacks, and tried to keep peace on the floor of his office. I watched as he sat in his comfy ergonomic chair shifting back and forth, but I kept going. A slow smile spread across Hubs' face when I finished and I knew I made him proud. The egomaniac did not have much of a come back and finally fetched our $100. He made some snide remarks at me as he filled out the voucher. And because I am sinful and I need Jesus, I used some of his wording from his sales pitch with an edge to my voice as a retort. He dramatically looked at me and told me it was a good thing he had thick skin. I held my tongue and said nothing to him about how I spent a good chunk of time on the floor of his office pregnant, with my children, while he rocked in his ergonomic chair.

ANYWAY.

We took our voucher.
I dressed my men alike for dinner.
We rode the shuttle to the resort.
We hopped on the tram that wraps through the resort,
and landed ourselves at this restaurant where I vowed never to take my little people on many previous visits.

And honestly, I became that American with a sense of entitlement WITH a $100 voucher for dinner. So to the people that gave us some stink eye because of my little people, I did not see you. I was too busy sharing a sunset with my family.Son1 has had a thing for Japan since he was three. He was beside himself to go to Imari, a Japanese steakhouse, for dinner. They serve two kinds of dinner, Teppanyaki (grill where you sit around the hot table with some strangers) or Washoku (traditional sit down Japanese dinner.) We opted for Washoku on the fancy side of the restaurant, you know, for the amusement of the other guests. HA! The restaurant folding doors were pushed open, and my kids loved visiting the koi pond in between courses.


And Imari did not disappoint. We made a reservation ahead of time. They had a special table set up for us, and to my surprise, chopsticks prepared for my kids. The chopsticks were wrapped with rubber bands so the kids could participate, and their menus and crayons were placed so carefully at their settings. The restaurant has fountains, waterfalls, and porcelain pieces throughout. It has an elegant minimalist feeling. The waitresses donned traditional black kimonos, and the restaurant bred an aura of serenity. I tried to get the kids to blend and be one with their environment, in other words, be quiet. Whenever we frequent a cloth napkin kind of establishment I try and emphasize the whole "fancy restaurant" thing with the kids. Now this place was a double whammy because on top of cloth napkins they also received steaming white wash cloths. They were a bit confused by bath time at the dinner table, but at least followed suit.

For dinner, I had a China Mist passion fruit iced tea...
...and some scrumptious scallops. Why bother with an appetizer when I could not eat anything raw?
So instead, I behaved, did not indulge, and watched Hubs feast on his appetizer including my absolute fave...sashimi.
He had himself a bento box, except Son2 monopolized his hot and sour soup.

Now you don't think we took all of these pictures with a camera phone, do you? No! Hubs and Son1 took a special field trip to Costco and got us a nice little point and shoot Canon for the rest of the trip! Son1 kept checking to make sure I used the wrist strap and wasn't going to let us have another sad day. Because when a man loves a woman...well, you read my last post.

Big Rock Fever

When we lived in Hawaii people NOT from Hawaii always asked if we ever got rock fever. And my answer was always a horrified "NO!" I generally stayed in the state except for one trip back to California a year. On holiday weekends and during some holidays we traveled to the neighbor islands. Each island is so vastly different that I never felt whatever people refer to as "rock fever." However, after living on the Big Rock (what local people in Hawaii call the lower 48) for just under six months, Hubs, myself, and Son1 all had Big Rock Fever. Um, and why yes, that is a Farmerism. We missed the culture of aloha the most as well as local food. It was time. We had to get off the Big Rock. So with time share points expiring this year, and a hunk of frequent flyer miles, the four Farmers arrived at the airport two hours after dropping off Vitafamiliae. The total flight time before us was seven hours, with an additional 3 hour layover in SF. That is 10 hours of travel time! From San Diego to San Fransisco the kids sat with Hubs. And they were the quietest kids ever. Yes, I was jealous. They always give him the royal treatment. Humph!!!

We never mind layovers in San Fransisco, because we always score the same terminal. I have no idea what it is called, but it is the one with the kids play area and the food court. By far, our favorite stop is called Just Desserts. They are a local SF company that bakes premium desserts from scratch with no trans fats. The desserts are all natural. They do not use any artificial flavors, colors or preservatives, bleached flour, or hydrogenated shortenings. The dessert on the left is mine, which was a marble mousse, and Hubs had a mango mousse cake. Those sweet children of ours did not even ask for a bite! We swallowed these after our mondo Mexican food lunch.
Three hours later we boarded the flight to Kona, Hawaii. Kona is on the "Big Island." All of the other seven main Hawaiian islands could fit inside the Big Island. It is Son1's favorite island, and he was crazy excited to fly back to Hawaii. Son1 and I had a row to ourselves and Son2 and Hubs sat in the row across from us in their own row.
The seating arrangement was just fine with me. Son2 is our more active and vocal child. Let's just say he doesn't do his best in confined spaces. About 10 minutes into the flight I peered over Hubs and saw this:
I asked Hubs how he accomplished to do that. He just smiled a cocky smile at me and said, "I am the Son2 Whisperer. I just told him to lay down and go to sleep." Well, Daddy-O have I told you how happy I am you are on this trip?!? He just shook his head at me, pulled out a charged ipod and the rest of the flight went like this...for just over 5 hours folks.
We landed in Hawaii, and after two hours of calling every rental company to find where we reserved our rental car, we finally made it to Costco one minute before they closed for the essentials. And of course, that included a macadamia nut pie for me. ALL ME. Aloha y'all.

Family Dayz

Hubs is one lucky man. See the view from the front door of his office building? Every morning he gets to hear, see, and smell God's creation. For Cinco de Mayo we were invited to a family event on his front lawn. Our family was joined by Hubby's mom and grandma.
Cinco de Mayo is often mistaken for Mexican Independence Day. Wrong! It is not even a national holiday in Mexico. Cinco de Mayo commemorates the underdog Mexican Army at the battle of Puebla when they defeated the French Army that had not been defeated in 50 years. In the United States we adopt this holiday across cultures like Oktoberfest, Chinese New Year, and St. Patrick's Day. Since San Diego borders Mexico, Cinco de Mayo celebrations are all over town. Hubby's workplace went all out with some seriously delicious and catered carne asada and pollo asado. I am so sorry, no food pictures, due to my inhaling way too much meat, beans, and rice. Carne asada is a northern Mexican food. Mexican food is just as different from North to South as food in this country. Oh, and there was a mariachi band that I didn't photograph. They played while my hands were clutching some crazy good Mexican food. I was deprived of good Mexican food on the East Coast and in Hawaii. I am really sorry I have no mariachi pictures, because mariachi bands only occasionally include harps, and Son1 LOVED this mariachi harpist. Mexican food to the tune of Cielito Lindo at the beach?!? Can you see why I did not pick up my camera?A few days later we celebrated Hubby's birthday. He was out the door at 630am that Saturday, preparing for the ongoing construction work at our house. But before he left, he requested a crab omelet. Way to spring something new on me, completely off my radar, only for him to tell me later that...well you are just going to have to wait to hear that part. I already had in my head raspberry white chocolate muffins, amongst other things. Now these muffins are to die for, and Hubby's absolute favorite muffins ever. Our sweet friend, Rachel, made them we lived in Virginia for Hubs. So, get it, I never needed to attempt them because we had Rachel. SO.... amongst the distraction of instantaneously finding the most fabulous crab omelet recipe to go with the fabulous muffins, and creating them at the same time....I realized that with 15 minutes left in the oven, I accidentally forgot the baking powder in the muffins. Do you know what that meant?!? They had a minimal chance of turning out.

SO.

I threw open the oven door, figuring I could sprinkle them individually, and mix the BP in each muffin. Too late! The muffins already had set up. So I poked a ton of holes in them, and decided to will those little white speckles into those muffins by dragging a pastry brush back and forth over the muffin tops. I tried my best, and shoved them back in the oven. MEANWHILE...when I flipped my omelets a little too feverishly, the egg part went flying and crusting over the stove and counters. By then the muffin timer was screaming at me. Aye yay yay. I grabbed that pastry brush and dusted that stubborn baking powder from the tops of the muffins. And I never cleaned the stove or counter tops because the phone rang. It was my sister, from 2500 miles away...the one whose new job is making it impossible to reach her, so I had to talk to her a little bit. Besides, she was calling for her favorite BIL's birthday. Anyway....about this time Hubs walks in and asks if I am ready for Legoland, and if the kids are ready. He looks at a disheveled me, and tells me he was just kidding about the crab omelet, but I am not laughing. He asks me what happened to the stove and somehow I was at a loss for words. We sat down for breakfast, and he tells me how wonderful the muffins tasted. OF COURSE they did, because they require a butter and sugar topping, which miraculously covered my BP mistake. Then he slowly and cautiously asked me how in the world Rachel used to get hers so big and fluffy. I promised him an explanation later because I still had no words for him. My body was still in a bit of kitchen shock. But the omelets?!?? They turned out deliciously! We quickly opened gifts, and grabbed the kids and the gear for a day at Legoland.

I loved my husband to pieces before we ever had children. We were married for six years, and together for a total of eight years before our babies ever came along. But now? Partnering in parenting with him makes my heart skip a beat. I asked him how he wanted to celebrate his birthday, and he said he wanted to spend the day at Legoland as his birthday present to the kids. Oh...and he wanted me to dress them alike. Is that not precious of him?
Legoland California is located at the northern most end of the county of San Diego, in Carlsbad. It is the ONLY Legoland in North America, and it is geared to children ages two to twelve. There is a ton of stuff for kids to do if they are over 34 inches. And since Son1 is over 42 inches there is even MORE for him. Another reason I particularly love Legoland is that pregnant mothers can ride many rides, too. I passed on the airplanes this time. They made me really sick my first trimester. Hubs rode with the two boys, but Son2 is hidden deep in that seat next to his daddy.Son1 and Hubs rode the roller coasters and this big shot thing. Hubs had lots of fun screaming like the panicked folks strapped near him. But he wasn't panicked!Hubs and I most enjoyed chasing our two year old around The Hideaways. We had never seen him scamper so quickly or laugh so maniacally! The giant multi tiered wooden play structure with rope climbs, catwalks, and slides is a little boy's dream. The slide at the highest point of the structure is the best way for big people to get down without getting stuck in the ropes. The twenty foot drop is ridiculously steep. Well, Son2 climbed his way to the top of the structure twice. Hubs and I each had the opportunity to follow him through the slide tube. Can you see the look in my eyes of recovery?
The evening ended with delicious In N Out. Birthday or not, Hubs and I passed on shakes, even though the kids indulged. At 680 calories those ice cream shakes are too rich for our blood!

The next morning was Mother's Day! Hubs not only cleaned my mess from the day before, but he also whipped up my favorite, strawberry stuffed french toast, a cheese omelet, and a silver can. Yes, I realize I am pregnant thankyouverymuch! And like a true princess, I had seconds and never felt a bit of guilt! There is nothing like eating while pregnant! Do you love how he notched out a heart on my french toast?
We hurried off to church, but we skipped the airbrushed Mother's Day tattoos in the courtyard. Note to my friends that live anywhere but Cali: This is your opportunity to skip your "left coast" and "land of fruits and nuts" jokes. I have no idea what you are talking about.

ANYWAY.

We headed over to a family gathering later in the afternoon. May 10 is always Mexican Mother's Day. My mom's family generally celebrates two Mother's Days, but this year American and Mexican Mother's Day fell on the same date. Now Hubs and I kind of "go together," if you know what I mean. We are both brown looking. We did pass for a "local family" in Hawaii. In some ways, our personalities are becoming more similar. But moving back to California for the first time in nine years points to the obvious need for Hubs to acculturate to my Mexican family. Since everyone has started families of their own, or moved, my mom and her sisters continue to say we are a "small family" now. Uh hem. We had 25 people at this shin dig. But we are just a "small family." You know what we had for our lunch? Carne asada!!! Now, it is not just the name of a Mexican food, as much as it is synonymous with a "social barbecue." But I don't really have a literal translation for it. I guess the closest would be the same thing as a Hawaiian luau at someone's house. Sooo my aunt made some homemade guacamole, grilled corn, carne asada, beans, homemade salsa, and her Knock You Flat On Your Face-To Die For strawberry cake. Now this cake is up there with Rachel's muffins for Hubs. So when the family realized the day before had been Hubby's birthday, they dug out some candles, that spelled Happy Birthday. My aunt covered the words on the cake with a paper towel, so we could sing to Hubs. You can see he was thrilled with the attention from my "small family."
Next we took a picture of the mothers that were present. From L-R, that's me, my mom, and my grandmother, cousins, and two of my mother's sisters. So you see, even in a Mexican family there is diversity in the way we look.

Well we plumb stuffed ourselves with the cake, all of us. You can see my children were far more interested in the cake than in the camera.
So far May had been filled with a bit of family time for the Farmers. How about you?

Turning Two

Just over two years ago, Son2 joined our family in Honolulu, Hawaii. When I was pregnant I tried to wrap my mind around a new child with a new personality. There is no way I could have predicted this little guy.

He LOVES his big brother. He wakes up asking for him and loves to be his shadow. He is not really one to be in the shadow, though. Nope. He is our ham. He loves to play tricks on all of us. He hides, plays keep away, and imitates us. His favorite is his dog imitation. We tried to teach him to roll over, but we just aren't there yet. For now, we think this is all cute. When he is awake he is animated and energetic. But when it is bedtime, he falls dead asleep as early as 6pm and wakes up almost near 7. And yes, he takes a nap midday, too. But trust me, by nap time, he is already exhausted by all his activity. It is no wonder he has a voracious appetite. He packs away the food, and shocks us when he eats like a big person.

My mom had a little early birthday celebration for Son2 so that his cousin could be present. And yes, it was held in the land of whimsy and fairytales, in my parents' tropical and themed garden. And Son2 chose to celebrate the way he does at every meal, by fending for himself, and forsaking all others.
On his actual birthday the Farmer Fam celebrated at Legoland, at the northern end of San Diego. Our first stop was the "Foo Foo." The boys were excited to snag the engine seat.This day we picked all of the rides he was tall enough to ride. It is so hard to fathom that TWO years have flown by.Toward the end of the day he ran for a Lego station and relished in Legos all to himself.We spent the last hour of the day at Sea Life Aquarium. It is contained within Legoland, however, it is a separate park. Sea Life is geared toward children ages two to twelve. It is completely interactive and completely worth it. Unlike other aquariums that tend to be dark, cramped and hard to get to a viewing window, Sea Life Aquarium caters to children. Son2 actually climbed inside of this aquarium display to get an up close look at sea creatures.The viewing areas are gargantuan. Some are overhead, and many are floor to ceiling enclosures.We knew from when Son2 was just several months old that he was particularly drawn to animals. Sea Life Aquarium was the best ending to a big TWO birthday for our little guy.

Welcome to TWO, little guy. We love you beyond measure! Life with you is a blessing!