One Day You Will Not Be With the Band

There are days I take your pictures with my eyes. I want to blow up those moments, make enlargements of those frames, and wrap my arms around you. I want to squeeze those pictures behind picture frame glass to my chest and never let you go. Sometimes I tease you and tell you I never want you to grow up, and we giggle and laugh, because we know that is impossible and Crazy Talk. That day will come.

One day you will not be with the band.

One day you will not sit together in a circle, not with drumstick pencils, not making your music.

One day you will stand on your own, away from the safety of our family.

That very thought has shaken me to prayer for you. You will walk to your own beats. Some days the music will be loud and full of life. Some days it will be slow and hum drum.

And for all of those days, I pray that God brings you friends that will walk with you. I pray you find iron that will sharpen you. I pray for wounds from friends, those that you trust, and not kisses from enemies. I pray that when you fall, there will be someone to help you up. I pray you will find friends that will love you at all times.

Over ten years ago, we made the walking kind of friends. We have cried with these friends through birth, death, love, and loss. They are lifers.

This weekend I cried for three straight days for walking friends. I have cried tears with intensity of love. I care very deeply for them.

I stared at Dr. Romance, and I choked out, "I cannot imagine having to give a baby back."

And as he scrubbed the dirty dinner pots in the sink while I rocked the computer chair back and forth he said, "I think you can. That is why you are crying. Are you going to be okay?"

And I am okay. Because our friends shared their lives, because they shared their pain, and they shared God's triumph. And because their baby is one step closer to home!

They walk. They share.  

And I am in awe that the very God that has performed a Jim-dandy in their lives can perform Jim-dandies in our lives, too. Their God is my God, and WOW.

And for you, my three sons, I want those friendships for you. I want you to know the longstanding ones. I want you to walk with trustworthy friends when you are no longer with the band. I want you to walk with those your whole lives. So I am praying for those friendships, even now.

So today I continue the list and count the ways He loves:




#8 for boys that drum feverishly in a brother band

#9 My Dr. Romance that considers my work "our work"

#10 for boys that LOVE this home, our family, our jokes

#11 friends that are lifers, friends that are walkers

#12 the baby that is one step closer to home from Uganda to her forever Vitafamiliae

#13 that God uses the work of thieves for his good, to perform a modern day miracle


#14 that God uses even a Ugandan judge to show MERCY