Expecting the Fourth Farmer

The Fourth Farmer recently turned the Big One! I love how LL writes letters to her kids about their birth stories. Here is a little bit before Son2's birth day and a little after his birth day.

Note: This letter is so long, I am going to give you a couple of days to read it before I post again. I loaded the pictures before I started typing. When I thought to break this into two or more posts, I decided I didn't want to move the pictures again, one by one. So take your time and pace yourself!

Dear Son2,
Father's Day 2006 I quietly slipped from bed to take a pregnancy test. I thought this would be a great surprise for your daddy, to tell him he was once again a father on Father's Day. A few minutes later I jumped back in bed. Your daddy rolled over and said, "So am I a daddy again?" I guess he was on to me. I shook my head no. We didn't have much time to be disappointed, because we had company in the house for the next couple of weeks for Daddy's family reunion that was held in Hawaii. Our house guests all left a few days before our anniversary. I am pretty sure you were a 9th anniversary baby. A couple of weeks later I found myself so unusually tired. I seemed so tired, I could hardly keep my eyes open and it was only 11:30am. Your big brother seemed to have SO much energy that particular day, and I just couldn't keep up. I popped on Sesame Street and fell into a heap on the couch. I heard the music, and I thought I only had my eyes closed for a second. The next thing I knew my eyes popped open and Jay Jay the Jet Plane was on. How could I have slept for more than an hour? I was furious with myself, a first time mom, for GASP letting your 23 month old brother watch more than an hour of TV and close my eyes. I had never done that before. Well, there had to be an answer to my exhaustion. I jumped up, grabbed the very last pregnancy test in the house, and wondered if I should open it. After all, I wasn't even late yet. It could be too early. Hastily, I tore it open, tested, and two pink lines appeared. I stared at it. I was in total shock. I told your brother Mommy was pregnant. I had to tell someone. He looked at me indifferently, and went back to playing. A few minutes later, I put Son1 down for a nap, and came up with a plan on how to tell your daddy. After nap time we ran to Wal Mart and I bought a birthday balloon. I taped the word Father's over the letters B-I-R-T-H and waited for Daddy to come home. He unlocked the front door, and Son1 ran toward him with the balloon. Happy FATHER'Sday, it read. He thanked Son1 emphatically, but he still didn't get it. "Don't you get it?!? You know, like you wanted me to be pregnant on Father's Day? Well, I AM today!" That was the beginning of the excitement, and of the exhaustion. A few days later Son1 and I were on a plane to CA. I planned to tell my parents in person that we were expecting you. They were happy and surprised! Soon we were back in Hawaii hosting friends again, and at only 5 weeks pregnant, I was so tired! This was so different than my first pregnancy. At 8 weeks we had our first sonogram, our first look at you. Then you measured only 16 millimeters, crown to rump. You were just this little white spot on the screen, and at a flashing point we could see your heart beat. My obstetrician continued to marvel at how precious this little life already was, so teeny tiny with such a strong heart beat. "Truly amazing!" she marveled. My heart was full and I felt so blessed to have the opportunity to see you on a first trimester ultrasound. I had never had a first trimester ultrasound with your brother.

The pregnancy progressed well, and I prayed you would be healthy. I couldn't keep much down for the first 17 weeks. At about week 15, Son1 caught a horrible stomach virus that lasted for 7 days, and then I caught it, too. I couldn't tell why I was so sick, anymore. Was I sick from pregnancy or was it the flu? I went online and read how a prolonged flu could be dangerous to a fetus. That night, for the first time, I felt you nuzzle to one side of my womb. I placed my hand along my belly, and I felt you, laying lengthwise, for the first time. I loved you, and knew how badly I wanted to feel better and know you were ok. Your brother and I were finally so sick, Daddy had to take off work to clean us both up, and tend to us. A few days later, the illness in our home disappeared. Still all of the bathroom time thus far had it's advantages. Your brother followed me into the bathroom most times, would place his hand on my back, and ask if I was ok. We spent so much time in the bathroom he was eventually bored with what was now becoming common for me and decided it was time he learned to use the toilet, too. I thank you for that!

I remember the very last time I was ill. I was sitting on the tile on a Sunday morning, over the bowl, when the tile beneath me started to shake. The windows rattled and the walls vibrated. Suddenly I fell into a sitting position and my body forgot I was in the midst of being sick. A humongous earthquake had rocked the Big Island 500 miles away, yet we felt the earthquake at our house.

Everyone insisted you were a girl because I was so sick, but in my gut I knew you were a boy. You were so active! Your brother was, too, and I thought it was impossible to have a more active baby than him. But you proved me wrong with your kicks, waves, and somersaults. I loved every minute of your rolling, handstands, and cartwheels. I would sit your father in front of me, and invite him to watch the Belly Show. I was confident you were a healthy baby boy.

I really didn't have too many particular cravings until the last trimester. I craved fresh pineapple. Then specific restaurants would satisfy you and me. We loved the Grass Skirt Grill in Haleiwa Town on the North Shore. We started going every Sunday until I delivered you, and we would feast on teriyaki cheese fries and those juicy half pound avocado burgers with a slice of pineapple. We also loved Sandy's Cafe near our house for breakfast on Saturday mornings, and we would dine on stuffed strawberry french toast. At Teddy's Bigger Burgers in Kailua and Hawaii Kai, we would chow down on a bacon cheeseburger that was too big to hold, along with some fries, and usually a pineapple or peanut butter shake. I felt no guilt, since I somehow only gained 25 lbs with you. It must have been because I was so sick the first half of the pregnancy.

Your arrival came closer and closer. A month before your arrival, friends from your brother's Baby Hui surprised me with a girls night shower at Bravo's restaurant. I finally met my match with Italian food. It did not really sit well with me, and my tummy started to cramp. I was afraid to admit to anyone at the table that I feared this was the beginning of labor. Boy, was I wrong. It was the beginning of indigestion. HA! I was honored with a lei, and it was cut. Traditionally in Hawaii, pregnant women do not wear uncut leis or even necklaces. Anything around the neck is a bad omen that an umbilical cord could be caught around the neck.

It started to really hit me you were really coming, and we were a bit unprepared. We set things into motion, and soon your daddy and brother got to setting up your crib, stocking the nursery, and I started washing the clothes you would wear. We installed your car seat into the van, and your brother made sure no one forgot that was where you would sit.

In the next weeks we were honored again by a tea shower from a good friend from church. Everything was so delicious and beautiful. In true Hawaiian style she packed much of the extra food for us to take home afterward.

DP made one of your favorite crib blankets, to this day. We laid you on this blanket for your birth announcement photo.
Nine days before you made your arrival I had just a couple of things on my checklist I wanted to accomplish. One was a hike to Makapu'u Lighthouse. Some of my local friends had the same reaction. Was I trying to go into labor? Actually, no. I just wanted to try this hike before you arrived. We had lived in Hawaii nearly two years, and I had never been on this hike. We had just come from a doctor's visit, and your daddy had the day off.
We hiked the 2 mile steep paved trail. Some parts were straight up hill. The day was so clear and beautiful. It was admittedly hot island weather, with the sun beating down on the black asphalt. There was no shade and there were no restrooms.We were able to see the entire coastline of Molokai. We saw pods of humpback whales in the Molokai Channel and then also behind me here, at the top of the trail. In the background is a small island called Rabbit Island, because it resembles a rabbit. It was a hike your daddy and I will never forget. And just to absolutely coronet the blessed event, we stopped at Teddy's for burgers, fries, and a shake on the way home. You and I both slept well that night!

Grandma B. arrived the next day. She had come to take care of your brother and help the new Farmer Four for five weeks. Seven days later I went to the doctor. She checked me, and I was dilated to almost 2 centimeters when I left the office. She thought I might have you in a week. But late that evening dull pains began in my spine. They were the pains of back labor. I had been through back labor, and only back labor, once before, and it was intense. I knew you might come sooner than a week, so I started laundry and cleaning. At nearly midnight I fell into bed. I remember mumbling to your father that if I just fell asleep maybe the pain would subside. Then again, maybe tonight was the night.

About 2:30am I woke with a start and a scream. Labor pains were strong in my spine. Your father sprang up and asked me if I was sure. I started to cry. The pain was coming stronger and stronger. I insisted that this couldn't be it. Besides, we hadn't totally settled on your first name, yet. We had your middle name, meaning Blessed Companion, because your big brother wanted a little brother so badly. He was blessed with three different big brother books, and he thought of you, relentlessly. Your first name we were sort of settled on, but we didn't have the spelling down. So your dad started to write out several different spellings. The pain became more and more intense, and I couldn't focus on the names. Your daddy decided time was running out, and we had to go. I started to cry again, and told him I wasn't ready. By now it was 3:30am. He pulled out a suitcase and had one word for me: PACK! I slid off the bed, and started putting the little pile of things I had arranged into the suitcase. Your daddy got himself ready to go, and in the meantime, I slid back into bed, praying the pain would stop, and somehow it seemed to dissipate. Daddy came into the room, and the sight of his readiness and not my own threw me into another fit of tears. I remember getting on all fours on the bed, praying the pain in my spine would stop. Daddy said we were leaving, and again, I told him I just wasn't ready. The time was creeping past 4am, and soon, rush hour into Honolulu would start. Finally, I left some final instructions for Grandma B. I woke her, and told her the time had come. We were on our way to the hospital, finally at 4:30am.

We pulled into the emergency entrance, and I just couldn't talk the pain was so intense. Daddy told the security guard to let me in, and he took one look at me and found me a wheelchair. I had my driver's license and insurance cards pinched in between my fingers. The nurse checking me in was a young male. He asked me if I needed to push. I am sure my face was scrunched in pain. "NO! I JUST NEED MY EPIDURAL!" He finished checking me in, and soon another nurse led me through a series of hallways and elevators to the Queen Emma tower at Queen's Hospital. Finally I ended up on the tenth floor, in labor and delivery. The nurses checked me in, and I started to cry when they asked me to get into a gown. I was so worried your Daddy wouldn't know where to find me. A nurse assured me that they would find him, if he didn't find me. Some ten minutes later, your daddy walked into the room, with a smile on his face, my things, and a list of spellings for your name.

The nurses asked Daddy if he would like a bed. Now this is the thing about Hawaii. Having a baby is a huge blessing in a family, and both parents to be are treated so well. They wheeled in a twin sized bed for your daddy with a heated blanket and a big fluffy pillow. So right there, in labor and delivery, your father was able to get some good sleep while I got my good epidural. The anesthesiologist walked in a little before 7am. My labor was progressing, but that meant progressive pain. He asked what I would like, and quickly he administered the epidural. I was worried he was too efficient, and a little red eyed, perhaps at the end of his shift. After he left, I asked the nurses. "Oh, he is the man you want to give you an epidural." They were so right. That epidural was so beautiful. I felt nothing, and I slept. The nurses checked the contraction monitor. They kept asking if I could feel my contractions. They were two minutes long and two minutes apart. They nearly made a 3 sided box on the tape, the contractions were so intense. No, no, no. Nothing. Labor from then on out was the most peaceful experience. My labor slowed and I didn't care. Six hours later, my doctor gave me the ok to push, and in 2 pushes, you arrived. Your daddy was so proud at how easily you were delivered!

You weighed in at 7lbs 15 oz. Your skin was pink and healthy, and you pretty much needed a hair cut when you were born! You came out crying, but as soon as you were swaddled and warm, you were peaceful.

Your delivery was so fast, I couldn't believe I was holding you in my arms so soon! Your daddy and I held and examined you for a long time.

Soon we were moved to the post partum unit where we received such kokua (Hawaiian word for care) and aloha (love). I was so shocked. The nurses babied us all three days, and were surpised the times I was out of bed. Daddy followed you for your first bath, and stayed with us until we were settled for the night. We were a little worried about your brother, so Daddy went home that night, and you and I stayed in the hospital together. He would come back the next day with your brother. That night and the next night, you proved right away you loved your awake time. The nurses picked up on this right away, and one taped a geometric black and white pattern to your plastic crib. You loved it, and spent time swatting at it.

The next day your big brother and Grandma B. came to meet you. Your big brother fell in love the minute he met you. He was fascinated by your features, and still is, one year later. He brought us some cookies from The Cookie Corner, and Daddy brought me a delicious lemon grass sandwich.
Daddy knew I wanted to take pictures this day. So he is in his super formal dress for Hawaii, a long sleeved shirt. The next day it was time to be dismissed from the hospital. We had one little problem. You refused to go shi shi (local word for pee) after your circumcision. So we were stuck. I was discharged and you were not. After what seemed forever, I finally let a nurse cup feed you an ounce of formula, and Daddy and I left to grab a quick bite. We came back to the tenth floor, and you had done your duty! We were on our way home!
At home we received lots of love in the mail, including beautiful baskets of flowers from church and Daddy's work. Meals came from church friends and Baby Hui friends. Presents arrived from near and far, and excitement at your arrival filled our home.

Your big brother was so proud of you! He kissed you, loved you, and talked to you every chance he got.Nursing took some a little time. We got the hang of it, but you were a champ at spitting up.Daddy marveled at you each day. He would examine your tiny features, and admire you. Grandma B. was such a huge help. She even stayed a few extra weeks when Daddy had a surprise business trip. She swaddled you, and for awhile, she seemed to be the only one that could swaddle you right. There was this one red microfleece blankie that our friends from Kansas sent, that you took to for the first few months of your life. When you were swaddled in that blankie, you dropped into a deep sleep like clockwork.

Some days I wondered if you would ever reach ten pounds. Your weight gain was a little slow in the beginning. The next thing I knew, WOW you were putting on weight faster than I could change your clothes!

You came into our lives, and we were changed forever. You melted our hearts with your smiles, your endless smiles. We all had such expectations for your arrival and addition to our lives, and you exceeded them. We love you far more than we ever could have imagined. Life changed for the better, and the love in our family grew. We prayed for you before you came to be, as you were being formed in the womb, and after you arrived. Your daddy and I continue to pray for you at night, and your brother does, too. We love you so much!

With much love and aloha,

Mommy