Competitive EVEN at the church ornament exchange!

Last night I flounced my competitive spirit at the church ornament exchange. I'll tell ya all about it, but let's start with a little round of Happy Birthday.


This is my friend, J. I met her 2 years ago at the ornament exchange. It was her bday yesterday. Applause, applause. This was the first time she left her baby born early last month with a pumped bottle with dad. Doesn't she look great? Anyway...she is so not a fru fru. She is a girly girl, oh yes, that she is. But a fru fru she is NOT. So yes, a group of us surprised her with a fru fru tiara and the back side of that balloon has a fru fru island girl on it, and a lei, and a chocolate cake with strawberry mousse filling. I called her earlier, and she was rather short, but I said,

"Really quick. ABC wants me to pick up a cake for tonight...white, choc., or carrot?"

"Ohhh, ALWAYS CHOCOLATE."

"Strawberry or chocolate mousse filling?"

"Strawberry!"

Now wasn't she helpful and cooperative? Happy birthday, J.! When we met 2 years ago at the ornament exchange she said watching me was like watching a movie. What a gracious compliment! HA! Now do you think I was a little competitive back then?

I bought 2 ornaments an hour before the sacred exchange. We play that you go in numerical order, based on the number you draw out of a basket. You either pick a gift from the pile and open it, or you steal one out of someone's lap that has been opened. Once an ornament lands for the third time in someone's hot little hands it is considered frozen. I had it all figured out this year. I bought two ornaments so that I would have two number positions, and a good chance at getting some cool ornaments. We are about to start, and one lady announces that her three little red bags stuffed with Christmas tree wrapping are considered one ornament. And I whipped around after my ornament radar went off after hearing talk of multiple ornaments. I looked at her coyly, and asked why she just didn't draw three numbers. Oh the look of horror...the gasp, the hand over her heart...

"That wouldn't really be fair would it? I can't take three ornaments!!!"

Now come on. She is asking a Farmer. "Why do you think I brought two ornaments?" I kidded. Oh these mercy hearts...you know what she asked me?

"Did you invite someone who couldn't come?" To which I very honestly and boldly replied, "Noooo. I brought an ornament for me, and one for my Competitive Spirit. That way I get two chances at numbers." A howl came from the rest of the ladies in the room. I assured them my entertainment was free.

The number basket went around and around. The lady who brought the 3 in 1 ornaments drew one number. She refused to take 3. When the basket touched my fingers I had to make a decision. No, I could not abandon a mission. I drew two numbers. More howling from those around. The neatly wrapped ornaments were opened in order and then ABC called number 12. Me! ME! ME! I took my time deciding. "Well, I am not too worried about the person after me. My Competitive Spirit drew number thirteen." Laughter from the group. I went right for the kill. I grabbed the 3 in 1 package. I unwrapped one Hawaiian ornament. Ohhhh. It was a ceramic replica of a Hawaiian quilt square. Hawaiian quilting is an almost lost art form. Think Amish quilting, minus the horses and buggies, aprons and bonnets, and more expensive, with pineapples, turtles, and flowers. So 3 in 1 lady tells me not to bother opening any more iof the 3 in 1 ornaments because they are all the same, just different colors. "HA! These are just like one of the ornaments I brought," I said. More laughter. Why everyone thought was so funny, I have no idea.

My heart got the better of me. I just couldn't bring myself to open another ornament after I scored the 3 in 1 package. So I passed off my number 13 to this little girl.

Wouldn't you know that my 3 quilt squares were stolen! So I drew from the packages on the ground and I got a bag that had not just one ornament in it. No, this one had another 3 ornaments, too. Now people couldn't really figure how I felt about my 3 new ornaments. I wore my ornament poker face. Well, S. was sitting to my left. She had her 4 ornaments that spelled N-O-E-L stolen from her that she stole from someone else. Ugh. So she stole my second set of 3 ornaments.
Two of the ornaments were picture frames. What I didn't say out loud, lest someone steal them from me, was that I was going to put pictures in them from the ornament exchange to cherish forever. But, noooo. S. stole them from me just after J. said she couldn't take the last ornament in the pile because that was her own. Sigh. But I really was ok with that. Let me tell you another thing about J. She likes nice things. So I knew I was going to get a nice ornament because I was pretty sure she bought a nice one. And sure enough, she bought a beautiful Hawaiian ornament with dolphins. It would have been my first choice, really. Well the original 3 in 1 lady also won a Hawaiian ornament with palm trees, similar to my dolphin ornament. Now you know nice ornaments come in really nice boxes, just like these did. 3 in 1 lady starts making a comment about how nice the box is, decorated in a Hawaiian fabric motif, with magnetic doors on the box. So, kiddingly and really just for another laugh, I said, "I'll trade you my box for your ornament." Then she insisted I take the gold and green palm tree ornament. No, no, no, I refused. And then I refused a second time. And a third time. Now this made me feel guilty, particularly when she plopped her box on top of mine. Finally she had me convinced that I have an ornament for each of my two boys. Sigh. Okay. She broke me down. No more laughs. But seriously, I walked away with what my first two choices would have been, anyway.