The Farmer Files Phones Home

It is nice to be missed! Mahalo for the comments and emails asking what happened to me. I am alive and well, and I missed you too! I have to catch up and visit many of you!

My mom was here, and The Farmer Files took a back seat. My biggest fan was back on the Big Rock, so sad I wasn't posting pictures of his sons. My mom left last night, Hubby arrived last night, and Hubby's brother comes into town today. With all of the testosterone back in the house....I am going to escape and blog a WHOLE LOT. I promise.

I was asked if I attended Abe's mom's service. My husband went, but I did not. He said Abe's eulogy was inspirational. I read it on Abe and Heather's private blog, and I too was so inspired to speak wisely and carefully to my boys. The pinewood derby hit home, because last Friday my son entered a grand prix with his race car. Here is the beautiful eulogy Abe delivered:

Today I’d like to share a short thumbnail sketch of my mom by answering two questions

1. Who was Carolyn?

2. What lessons did she teach me?

I’ll start with the first: Who was she?
Born October 8th, 1950, my mom arrived in the world with a strong curiosity for learning and a passion for helping others. She grew up with a warm, loving family in Atlanta, GA, and was fortunate to have a strong mother (my Nana Tyler), a wonderful caring sister (my Aunt Peggy), and a wild and crazy but very protective brother (my Uncle Bobby).

Growing up as one of her children was a privilege; she lavished me with love and encouragement my entire life — even calling me on the phone and encouraging me as a parent just days before her trip to Spartanburg, South Carolina.

She was not perfect, but she was a great mother, and friend.

She sought opportunities to serve and care for her family and friends continually.

After my brother and I both graduated from school, she came to Immanuel Bible Church, to work in the music ministry. She came to love her work here - she loved the people of this church, and she was energized by all of the good things going on here.

She had a gift for connecting with people and letting them know that she cared about them. Even with half a dozen things going on, if you ran into her she would suspend everything and let you know “Hey - God loves you, and I do too.”

She saw her life purpose as worshiping God - by serving others.

Understanding a little about who she was, I’d like to share three lessons she taught me.

Lesson One

I remember vividly, the many discussions I had with her when I was in high school. I wanted her to tell me what I should be but she refused.

She explained that WHAT specific role I chose would be much less important than HOW I chose to live it out. Whatever I did, I should do for God’s glory and the benefit of others. She encouraged me to pray, decide for myself, and take a leap of faith.

Incidentally, I ended up joining the Army and becoming a paratrooper. I don’t think she intended for me to take her advice so literally!

This past Christmas, she solidified her advice giving me a wooden plaque with the famous quote from Abraham Lincoln, "Whatever you are, be a good one."

Lesson Two

When I was eight years old, and playing with my friends the Hurdles, I invited my brother Dan to jump on the bed with us. After only a few bounces, he flew off the bed like a cartoon character and bonked his head into a radiator. Blood was everywhere; I screamed for help and Joan Hurdle and my mom rushed Dan to the hospital.

I was very sad, and I cried (although I did ask if I could have all of his toys). A few hours later, he returned with some stitches and a smile.

That night, my mom made it clear that Dan was going to be okay - but at the same time, I should never take loved ones for granted. She told me that I had a very important job; when I asked what it was, she said “Love your brother - everyday."

As I matured, I grew to understand a broader meaning of what she meant. I was to love my brother Dan; and I was also to love everyone with the same compassion she demonstrated.

Lesson Three

When I was a child, I attended Cub Scouts and I learned the scout motto “do your best.”

Some of you might be familiar with the Cub Scout tradition called the pinewood derby, where scouts carve wooden cars and then race them. At my first pinewood derby, I had a mechanically challenged car that barely made it down the track. (Dad, you remember!)

But my mom was so proud of me, when it was my turn to race, she stood at the sidelines and cheered for me “Do your best! Do your best Abe!” My car did so-so, but my heart was so filled up with love, I never forgot that lesson.

Throughout my youth, she always cheered me on to do my best.

At 17, I left home to attend West Point. As I suffered through the first year of hazing I remembered her words “do your best” I did - and I made it through.

At Army Airborne school, faced with jumping out of planes and completely terrified, I could hear her whispering “do your best”… and I overcame my fear of heights to become a paratrooper.

During Army Ranger School, while ascending a mountain in the Tennessee Valley Divide and struggling with a sprained ankle and over 120 pounds of equipment in the cold of winter, I could hear her “Do your best!” - I went on to climb that mountain and graduate Ranger School.

Even today, as a 34 year old man struggling with new problems and worries, I can still see her standing on the sidelines, smiling and cheering me on “Do your best. Do your best Abe!”

Whatever you are, be a good one. Love your brother. Do your best.

I am grateful for these lessons, and many others that my mother taught me. I thank God for her vibrant life, and I thank this church for remembering her and for loving her family.